Test Cricket is Beautiful
For all you people who think test cricket is boring, you are wrong. You’ve been proven so by the Black Caps, yet again, who have managed to pull out another tight win. On the last ball against Sri Lanka, Kane ‘Steady the Ship’ Williamson managed to be a fast little man and avoid being run out, steering New Zealand to a 1 run win. Clutch. This is coming off of Neil Wagner’s heroics against England, who pulled up the middle finger to ‘bAz BaLl’ and cleaned England’s batters with four wickets on the last day.
Arsenal are still winning and its getting weird
Ha ha. Ok Arsenal, jokes over now. You can start losing again and go back to being the punch line of every football joke. Seriously. I mean, they won’t actually win the league, right? Right? As of writing this they’re 5 points clear of second place and it’s getting scary. Unless, you’re an Arsenal fan. They have one of the youngest teams in the Premier League and they’re still doing amazing so respect, I guess. But stop now. Seriously.
Crusaders suck and the Chiefs don’t
I herald from the land of the red and black so it pains me to write this but man we suck at the moment. With a recent 25-24 loss to Fijian Drua, a team we beat by 58 points in 2022, it’s really not looking great. Now this is a personal plea with the coach Scott Robertson, please win against the Blues. This isn’t about my TAB account, this is about my pride. I’m being bullied relentlessly because everybody wants us to lose and we are. Form is temporary, class is permanent, aye Scott? By the time this comes out we’ll know the result, so if the unthinkable happens please leave me be.
Meanwhile, with some pretty emphatic wins so far, the Chiefs are slowly becoming the early favourites. Brad Webber looks great, Mackenzie is a pair of good kicking boots away from being the most inform first five in Aotearoa, and Samisoni Taukei’aho is making backs everywhere crap their pants. Bloody great! Yay! Super happy for you guys!
Dolphins Are Doing Swimmingly
The newcomers to the NRL, the Dolphins, have shocked everyone and had a so far unbeaten start to the season. It may be their ferocious name, or their GOAT coach Wayne Bennett, but they’ve gone from being wooden spoon contenders to dark horses after beating the Roosters and the Raiders. Go the Dolphins.
It’s Still the Warriors Year
I don’t like that people think this saying is just something thrown around as a joke. It’s a wholehearted, genuine declaration of faith in the greatest Rugby League team ever assembled. They made a mockery of the Knights in their first game. So what they lost to the Roosters 20-12, the extended drinks breaks were put in place to throw us off, not because of the heat. Shaun Johnson is not washed but actually the greatest player ever and we didn’t even want Reece Walsh anyway. I’m not delusional, I swear. Book ya tickets to the finals, lads! Go the Warriors!
