Welcome to the shameless rip of a true classic, pulled from the front page of ESPN with such little nuance and editing its unoriginality could crash Turnitin. With NBA Media Day reminding us how close we are to opening night and how good Ben Simmons’ NBA player cosplay is, it’s time to ponder five super spicy questions burning inside the brains of basketball junkies the world over.
Who’s poised for a breakout season?
Last year Ja Morant took another leap, which makes sense given his ability to actually leap, securing All-NBA second team honours thanks to his insane and oftentimes reckless explosiveness (shades of prime, Derrick Rose). This year’s breakout might be just as vertically impressive with YouTube mixtape sensation turned All-Star Zion Williamson set to return after a year away. If the reports of his summer workouts are true and Williamson can find a pair of sneakers able to withstand the force of a million exploding suns, there’s a real chance he picks up where he left off. There’s also a real chance he finds himself on the injury report again, after missing 141 games through the first three years of his career. In that case put some money on Tyrese Haliburton.
Will the Lakers figure it out?
Probably not. It’s painfully clear the Russell Westbrook experiment has failed, thanks to his unwillingness to adapt his game even 10%, a stubbornness that once averaged a triple-double now rapidly poisoning his basketball IQ. Perhaps with his contract expiring, paired with LeBron’s extension, the Lakers might finally have a tradeable package of Westbrook and picks. But the return means absolutely nothing if Anthony Davis can’t stay healthy and LeBron loses even half a step.
Who will win MVP?
Don’t be shocked if the Europeans make it five in a row with Giannis Antetokounmpo, Nikola Jokić and Luka Dončić all coming off strong EuroBasket campaigns. Most sports betting sites have Dončić as favourite, unsurprising given his outrageously productive first four years in the league and the voter fatigue likely hanging over the other two. If Dončić can lead the Mavericks to an impressive regular season without Jalen Brunson, perhaps on the back of some real offseason conditioning, it’ll be hard to argue against the unguardable Slovenian.
Are the Nets contenders?
At first glance Kevin Durant and his cast of unknowables seem like the furthest thing from a championship team after suffering a first-round pantsing via Boston and wearing the sash of ‘noisiest offseason’ despite doing basically nothing. There is however the incessant feeling that any team with Durant is playoff dangerous, doubly so with an ‘unplugged’ and available Kyrie Irving and a Ben Simmons with even 80% of his playmaking and defensive genius. Sadly the Nets remain a true random generator thanks to the impossibility to predict a single thing any of their stars will say or do.
Who will be the most fun team to watch?
Let’s not dwell on potential wins and losses just yet and instead consider which team will dominate social media with obscene alley-oops and late game heroics. Memphis is always a safe bet for most fun thanks to spine tingling highlights from Morant the Fearless. Minnesota boasts a wealth of veracious fast breaks provided by ultra-athletic and recently ignorant Anthony Edwards. Chicago always keeps a handful of slam dunk contest winners on their roster alongside King of the Fourth Quarter DeMar DeRozan. And then there’s the raw potential of younger teams like the Oklahoma City Thunder and Orlando Magic, filled with fresh legs hungry to make a name in the league. Most teams are a sneaky solid pick depending on your preference, apart from the Utah Jazz.
