Pisces
Be so fucking for real right now, you’re only watching The Last of Us because you saw that Pedro Pascal edit on TikTok.
Cancer
The next time you think you’re having a bad day, double it and give it to the next person. Just pray that karma doesn’t exist.
Scorpio
With Scream 6 coming out, you keep telling people you would outsmart Ghostface. Hate to be the one who says it, but you would die first.
Libra
Look, nobody cares about the new music or show you found out about. You’re going to make it your whole personality anyways (please stop).
Gemini
You’re about to binge OBX season three and you’re hoping it doesn’t turn into the next Riverdale. Good luck, and stan JJ.
Aquarius
You either have a buzz cut already or you’re thinking about getting one. You’re probably single too, ever wonder why?
Virgo
You recently bought Hogwarts Legacy specifically so you could join Slytherin and use the unforgivable curses. Everyone knows you’re actually a Hufflepuff.
Capricorn
Next Monday, at exactly 11:59 AM, you’re going to be possessed by Shane Walsh. The whole day you’ll run around saying “what is that?”.
Taurus
You’re so neck deep in TikTok that while you judge everyone at Outback you can’t help but say “side eye”.
Leo
You’re still embarrassed for cussing people out for commenting on Rihanna’s weight during her performance, because when you realised she actually is pregnant again, you cried.
Sagittarius
It’s about time you admit you only watched the World Cup for South Korea’s number 9. Your friends are tired of you pretending you understand football.
Aries
You and your mate definitely don’t know your way around town yet, so you brought out your best Rick Grimes impression to say “we’re lawst”.
