We all know first, second, third, and fourth base, but how about fifth? You know, the one, I mean, the one that somehow does not come out until much later than it should. The one that should have come before every other base. That is the mental health chat.
It’s baffling how many people, especially men, I have dated and thought I knew everything about, only for a considerable origin story or confession about daily struggles to come out. I’m always so grateful for the trust. However, I am displeased that I wasn’t confided in sooner or didn’t catch the signs or pry about it. When I’ve asked why I wasn’t told sooner, it is generally because they were waiting until they felt comfortable, unjudged by what they could say. It’s wild that we live in a society that feels more comfortable banging someone than talking about feelings. Knowing my opinion of someone would never be less because they struggle with mental health; it makes me wonder in disappointment why our culture around mental health is this way- especially in Aotearoa and especially within men.
I think the mass change that needs to happen is at a government level; however, the more we talk about mental health and understand it, the more change is likely to happen. I can’t believe some of the discussions are finally happening to surround the topic. In 2023, well, overdue.
I chatted with some friends about the situation, and we all agreed that opening up and being completely honest with someone is one of the sexiest things you can do. Fuck the flowers and the nudes; let’s get coffee and talk about how you’re doing. I understand that not everyone is ready to talk about things, but the conversation should at least come very early in the base system; even a simple mutual ‘Hey, I’m always here to talk to if I need’ is necessary. Mental health is not linear, so let’s keep educating ourselves and bettering our behaviours towards others. Chats before orgasms? Sounds good?
