Surprise, surprise, my willpower is non-existent, and after swearing for the *final* time I would not redownload Hinge, I did. Hinge in Byron Bay? It definitely sounds better than it is. The face value lives up to the hype, with everyone aesthetically looking amazing. However, I’m yet to find the same on the inside. After my frustration with the first, second and third dates, I’m now a dating addict again. Certainly, none were my cause for stopping. Here’s what you missed;
I hate to admit it, but I set my age range to 35-50 (My relationship with my dad is excellent!), and I matched with a 38-year-old single dad. This is actually my ideal man on paper, and the Hinge pics of teaching his kid to surf had me sold. We were off to a great start until he started talking about how he wanted to get the mother of his daughter back and if I had any advice. I don’t know what was more alarming, the fact he was on a date with a twenty-year-old or asking for relationship advice from one.
II:
I set my age range back down and found a 25-year-old who could pass as 30. I was soon reminded why I didn’t date around my age when he asked before eating if I was cool with splitting the bill. Of course, I said I was, but mentally I checked out at this point. I made him feel so comfortable he started talking about his boy’s weekend last weekend and, well, did not stop. If your name is Samantha and you got with this rude tradie the previous weekend, I’m sorry, girl, he’s telling the world—worst $38 I’ve ever spent.
III:
I was about to give up and delete the app again when I found a 35-year-old Finance bro. My holy grail. He made reservations and sent me an Uber, and things looked great until he decided to preach his opinions to me. It all started when I asked what music he liked, and he said he is more of a podcast guy. I said, ‘Me too, what do you listen to?’ And he looked down and said ‘Oh he’s like for the guys, you won’t know him’ to which I said ‘Try me’ and I bet you can guess the answer. Joe fucking Rogan. I suffered through my at least free salmon; however, when he decided to explain why he believes pronouns aren’t valid, I told him I was tired and bolted into my Uber as fast as I could away from his R.M Williams and Jo Malone scent.
