Blind Date – Issue 16

She’s a tig bitty Ice Queen with an extraordinary talent for funneling nitro’s. He’s a rare breed, a relatively socially competent Engineering student in the frosted tip stage of his mid degree crisis, looking for something as casual as his studies.

He said

Let’s get the essentials out of the way. Nerves? Check. Roped in by a mate for this? Check. Couple beers to ease the nerves? Check. After making sure to be punctual and relatively dressed for the occasion, I walked into House and escorted to the back corner to be seated across from a larger- than-life deer mount – oh deer. Thankfully, it was accompanied by a lovely lass, who was easy on the eyes, and even easier to get along with – oh dear. As we sank the first round, we realised we had both been stalked by our respective friend groups – or in my case, several of them… This did little to spoil the fun; however, it made bathroom trips rather interesting, when either of us got up, a suspicious posse from across the room would converge – folks, you weren’t sneaky, turns out you’re not actually blind on these things. Chat went over smoothly, after finding out we’re both fourth years, it wasn’t quick before we bonded over how we’d rather shit in our hands and clap than face what next year has to offer. Among other things, I found out I’m a savant at guessing favourite movies. Honey, The Book Thief? You made it too easy. Being several drinks deep, I pulled my inner hyperactive child to the surface and excitedly shared all the Netflix shows and drowned this poor lady in viewing recommendations – but don’t worry, I’ve been roped into watching the Criminal Minds pilot, I’ll let you know how it goes. After a few more cocktails – Coke Bottle goes down well and achieves what it aims to – things in the House were getting eerily quiet, I had the realization I was likely going to have a cheeky night in. That’s all sweet though, I’m not sure she ever made the connection, but it turns out we share a common uncle and are cousins, and I hadn’t quite had enough drinks. All in all, great night, great drinks, great company, and I’m sure we’ll catch up at our next family reunion. P.S. kidding. Thanks for the night Nexus.


She said

The night started off with my flatmates convincing me to have a few sips for ‘liquid courage’ and to make sure my chat wasn’t ‘boring as fuck’. I assumed Nexus was a small university magazine, little did I know they had it in their budget to bring in 2001 Justin Timberlake to be my date, frosted tips and all. However, this is something I could work with. I’m gonna be frank he was kind of hot but he told me he’d never been to RnV or Northern which was a major red flag. But he was an engineering student so what can you expect? He had decent chat even though he implied that he made at home porno movies. He was my kind of guy though, as he wanted to spend the majority of the bar tab on drinks. The night consisted of us trying to guess each other’s favourite movies,music and books. His guessing skills were a lot better than mine but I have basic white girl taste so how impressive is that really? (Oh btw if you’re reading this the song I was trying to tell you about was, Lie by NF.) We both promised we would watch each other’s favorite shows (How have you not seen Criminal Minds before??) and not be too savage in our write ups. Fingers crossed he kept his end of the deal. The date ended up being longer than I anticipated and I thought it was finally time to leave once we were the only two people left in House. Sorry to disappoint the readers but it didn’t get saucy after the date. It will take a lot more than an $100 bar tab for that…at least $150. All in all it was a fun time! Cheers Nexus for the date. Thanks for not setting me up with a creeper xoxo

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