Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 12 2026
Max Verstappen takes a podium in Montreal: No one understands how much this means to me. The battle between him and Hamilton was class, and we got a podium out of it too. The Red Bull comeback might be coming sooner than we thought. Crusaders horse spooks at home game: Look, as a horse girl and […]
Nexus Breaks The News – Issue 11 2026
Thousands of public servants to lose their jobs, saving the government billions. Good to see that the government’s solution to being in crippling debt is to fire the people that literally operate the country. Another great example of why they are a one term government. Couple Devastated after uninsured pirate ship catches on fire and sinks I think that having this […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 10 2026
Missing Hotel Guest found inside huge crocodile airlifted from river Oh so this is a real thing that happens? You can actually get swallowed whole by a creature? Thank god we don’t have crocodiles here, because if we did I’d never touch a body of water again in my life. Pierre Gasly dramatically flips after a crash with Liam Lawson I’m not religious, but thank God for the halo. Without […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 9 2026
Better Bus Services on the cards for Cambridge You read that right, Cambridge’s population – which consists entirely of people over the age of 70 – will finally be seeing better bus services that will more efficiently shuttle them between their retirement homes and the horse races. CHRIS BISHOP REBUFFS PLEAS TO SLOW DOWN FAST-TRACK PROJECTS I mean, just […]
Nexus Breaks The News – Issue 8 2026
Over enthusiastic conductor sends $2m violin flying: Why the fuck was someone playing a violin that was worth $2m in the first place?? This seems like an entirely preventable incident. Was it made of gold or something? Video of Prince Louis on holiday released to celebrate 8th birthday: It’s good to know that no matter who […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 7 2026
Secret apartment in US mall went unnoticed for four years: This is the type of shit that would have had me convinced I could do this in the base when I was like 5 years old. Maybe there’s no time like the present… Eight children dead after Louisiana mass shooting: No joke for this one. The prevalence of gun […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 6 2026
MY ROFLCOPTER GOES SWOI SWOI SWOI SWOI Auckland police have arrested a man after he used a laser to blind a police helicopter. The suspect, a Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, had been constructing his Helicopterpilotblinderinator for several weeks leading up to his arrest. A NIGHT OUT (OF DATE) Grab your Aelfric Eden and Shein essentials! On […]
Nexus Breaks the News – 23/3/26
Trump buys all of his staff the same shoes, guesses shoe sizes: There are so many layers to this that I could make a joke about this with, but the fact he said “everyone’s afraid not to wear them” says enough I think. A drone looking for a missing man finds a bear waking up from hibernation: I love […]
Nexus Breaks the News – 16/03/26
Iran war pushes fuel past $100 usd per barrel: This is definitely our sign to flood the Hamilton bus system and finally take advantage of that student pricing. Judith Collins regarding Christopher Luxon: “he’s excellent” The results of that recent poll definitely say otherwise, but whatever butters your lobster queen. Just remember that’s the party you quit. Prince Andrew seen in incriminating […]
Nexus Breaks the News – 09/03/26
The US, Iran and Israel are almost in full-blown war. I know there’s always a lot of chat going around about how WWIII is probably on the way at some point, but this genuinely feels like it is the beginning of really bad things. 48 Iranian leaders and 3 US soldiers dead in one day is usually not […]