Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 23
POSH PROBLEMS A sudden surge in a specific Lake Weed at Lake Karapiro threatens the region’s oft-held rowing events, which is a big concern for the most out of touch and annoying rich assholes that you know. AT LEAST THEY’VE GOT SOMETHING RIGHT, RIGHT? The Waikato region has once again proven to have the best cancer treatment […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 22 2026
(((SOUTHERN))) LINKS Project Directors Dillon Kelliher and Robert Dol, have proposed a motion to transform a swathe of farmland south of Hamilton into a brand-new suburb development, comprised of 938 residential units across about 46ha. When asked what inspired the suburb, Kelliher said, “Well, I always wondered what Hamilton would look like without all those […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 21
AUCKLAND’S CRL… CHRIS REALLY LIKES IT! The people of Auckland were in absolute heat for the opening of the City Rail Link, as evidenced by a fire breaking out on the morning of it’s big day. Nexus can neither confirm nor deny that the fire was a diversion for Chris Bishop to cruise in the public […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 19
LABOURS OF LOVE Hipkins has suddenly pulled away from it’s commitment to reinstate the Māori Health Authority out of fears that, if they did reinstate it, it would just meet the same fate. Hipkins further said, “Nah yea, gotta be honest we’ve realised that we don’t actually really need to do anything and it’s all pointless. […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 18
#FUMBLEOFTHECENTURY No, this isn’t about Penk’s failure to overthrow the government. No, this isn’t about Luxon basically giving TOP over to the left bloc right before they got kingmaker status. This is about your flatmate locking himself in his bedroom after texting “W Tits” to a woman on Hinge. At least 60 buildings collapse in Columbia […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 17
Ariana Grande Fans Piss me off on Twitter: These people are genuinely worse than Swifities. I feel like an insane chud having fights with people on this godforsaken app behind an anonymous profile, but their behaviour is getting out of hand. Winston Peters is a Dick, as per usual. In a new installment of fuck […]
CHRISPOCALYPSE NOW
…Or, Our Chrisis II… Or, Ya Feeling Lucky Penk? In Sam Neil’s breakout feature film role, the 1977 political thriller Sleeping Dogs, the New Zealand government slips into a military junta which mutates the country into a Fascist police state that eventually brings in American military advisors with rifles and napalm bombs to suppress a […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 16 2026
Donald Trump unveils mathematical skills Just over a month after bragging about his flawless cognitive examinations – Donald Trump has announced his intention on running for a Fourth Term in 2028: This is batshit in and of itself, but we’d especially like to highlight the fact that the guy is only sitting his second term right now. 1+1=4? Math Cost of Leisure Chrisis […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 14 2026
ROADS OF MAYBE SORT OF POTENTIALLY NOT REALLY NATIONAL INTEREST The Chris Bishop humiliation ritual will continue until house prices improve. MONEYBALL(s) Sunday Star sportswriter Tony Smith has had an opinion article published. In the article, Smith argues that we should put ‘smart corporate money’ on the All Whites just as much as the All Blacks. The […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 13 2026
The South Island finally gets shitty weather: Thank God it’s passed us and gone down there. We did not need more rain this year, but the flooding looks horrific. Sorry for laughing at you, Otago. China warns New Zealand about upcoming missile tests in the Pacific: Of course our Prime Minister was chill with this. Put your mouth where their money is, or something […]