Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 17
Ariana Grande Fans Piss me off on Twitter: These people are genuinely worse than Swifities. I feel like an insane chud having fights with people on this godforsaken app behind an anonymous profile, but their behaviour is getting out of hand. Winston Peters is a Dick, as per usual. In a new installment of fuck […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 18
#FUMBLEOFTHECENTURY No, this isn’t about Penk’s failure to overthrow the government. No, this isn’t about Luxon basically giving TOP over to the left bloc right before they got kingmaker status. This is about your flatmate locking himself in his bedroom after texting “W Tits” to a woman on Hinge. At least 60 buildings collapse in Columbia […]
CHRISPOCALYPSE NOW
…Or, Our Chrisis II… Or, Ya Feeling Lucky Penk? In Sam Neil’s breakout feature film role, the 1977 political thriller Sleeping Dogs, the New Zealand government slips into a military junta which mutates the country into a Fascist police state that eventually brings in American military advisors with rifles and napalm bombs to suppress a […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 16 2026
Donald Trump unveils mathematical skills Just over a month after bragging about his flawless cognitive examinations – Donald Trump has announced his intention on running for a Fourth Term in 2028: This is batshit in and of itself, but we’d especially like to highlight the fact that the guy is only sitting his second term right now. 1+1=4? Math Cost of Leisure Chrisis […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 14 2026
ROADS OF MAYBE SORT OF POTENTIALLY NOT REALLY NATIONAL INTEREST The Chris Bishop humiliation ritual will continue until house prices improve. MONEYBALL(s) Sunday Star sportswriter Tony Smith has had an opinion article published. In the article, Smith argues that we should put ‘smart corporate money’ on the All Whites just as much as the All Blacks. The […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 13 2026
The South Island finally gets shitty weather: Thank God it’s passed us and gone down there. We did not need more rain this year, but the flooding looks horrific. Sorry for laughing at you, Otago. China warns New Zealand about upcoming missile tests in the Pacific: Of course our Prime Minister was chill with this. Put your mouth where their money is, or something […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 12 2026
Max Verstappen takes a podium in Montreal: No one understands how much this means to me. The battle between him and Hamilton was class, and we got a podium out of it too. The Red Bull comeback might be coming sooner than we thought. Crusaders horse spooks at home game: Look, as a horse girl and […]
Nexus Breaks The News – Issue 11 2026
Thousands of public servants to lose their jobs, saving the government billions. Good to see that the government’s solution to being in crippling debt is to fire the people that literally operate the country. Another great example of why they are a one term government. Couple Devastated after uninsured pirate ship catches on fire and sinks I think that having this […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 10 2026
Missing Hotel Guest found inside huge crocodile airlifted from river Oh so this is a real thing that happens? You can actually get swallowed whole by a creature? Thank god we don’t have crocodiles here, because if we did I’d never touch a body of water again in my life. Pierre Gasly dramatically flips after a crash with Liam Lawson I’m not religious, but thank God for the halo. Without […]
Nexus Breaks the News – Issue 9 2026
Better Bus Services on the cards for Cambridge You read that right, Cambridge’s population – which consists entirely of people over the age of 70 – will finally be seeing better bus services that will more efficiently shuttle them between their retirement homes and the horse races. CHRIS BISHOP REBUFFS PLEAS TO SLOW DOWN FAST-TRACK PROJECTS I mean, just […]