Aries 

 

Try structuring your life differently. Maybe like a classic sitcom structure, A plot, B plot, C plot and a running joke.

Taurus

Don’t be insecure about your nipples! Everyone’s nipples are different, whether that be size, shape, colour, texture, pointiness, hairiness, amount of dimples, flavour or circumference.

Gemini

Honey, you have GOT to fix up that whole situation going on with your lashes, it is a hot mess.

Cancer

Stop putting off that thing that you keep saying you want to try. Either do it or admit to yourself that it isn’t actually that important to you.

Leo

Get a better star sign. Leo is just like, a name.

Virgo

Be less sensitive to other communities. Being scared of things that are different is what makes us human.

Libra

Change your opinion on hummus. Whatever ur opinion on hummus is right now, change it to the opposite opinion.

Scorpio

See some things that you haven’t seen before. Whether that be checking out new bar or a new category of porn is up to you.

Sagittarius

Catch up with that series that you like, a new season just came out and apparently its pretty good.

Capricorn

Your sign sounds like if a capsicum was mixed with a unicorn. So, live your life more like a fruity unicorn. More than you are already.

Aquarius

 

You HAVE got what it takes to run for local government, don’t let friends and family and logic tell you otherwise. 

Pisces

Try eating things that you haven’t tried before. Like Dragonfruit, or if you’ve tried that, maybe some escargot, and if you’ve tried that maybe just eat some moss idk.