Ricky Bobby once said, “if you ain’t first, you’re last”. Throughout the history of competition, some seem to have taken this a little too seriously. This week we’re taking a look at some of the more infamous sporting cheats that have graced our screens in the name of victory.
The Sochi Winter Olympics was riddled with Russians more doped up than scribe after a hit on the ole’ crystal pistol. Since the late 80’s we’ve seen cheating Russians remove competition and dirty urine in the name of the motherland. Lance Armstrong was once the poster boy of cycling. A cancer survivor who got back on the road and won seven Tour de France titles. His blood-doping and drug trafficking saw him lose around 75 million USD in sponsorships. Rumour has it, Armstrong’s performance-enhanced piss is whats fueling Elon’s rockets. Built like a brick-shithouse, Astapchuk nearly cheated New Zealand’s own Valarie Adams out of a gold medal in shot put back in the 2012 London Olympics. However, her brick-like build raised some eyebrows, and she tested positive for illegal anabolic steroids for the fourth time.Sign stealing has always been a part of the game of baseball. Doing it legally and well is met with acceptance or even praise. However, using a team of cameramen, the Astros discreetly read the catcher’s hand signals and relayed the information about the coming ball back to the batter. They went on to win the World Series of baseball.
We’re pretty sure Diego Maradona was consumed by the being that calls himself Diego Maradona these days. The now cocaine-snorting, food-hoarding football legend once copped some flack for punching in a goal in the 1986 FIFA World Cup quarter-final. Pakistan has been subjected to accusations of cheating for the last couple of decades. This culminated in 2010 where a bookie was recorded accepting cash and organising Pakistani fast bowlers to bowl no-balls at strategic points in the game. Probably the most shameful of the eight features, the Spanish paralympic basketball team that journeyed to the Sydney Olympics consisted of only two players that suffered some sort of disability. The ten players that made up the rest of the squad were ineligible to compete but wanted to win gold for Spain.
Making back to back appearances in the sport’s section, Tiger undoubtedly went through some turbulence since 2009. It’s unclear whether Woods was cheating on the course but off the course was a different story. It’s come to light that Woods had at least 12 mistresses during his marriage making him an entirely different breed of sport’s cheater.