Finding the perfect outfit for town has always been complicated but after years of white girls dressing like native americans and white guys dressing like Mexican’s we have started to become crucially woke to the minefield of cultural appropriation. As a public service the newly formed Nexus Fashion Advisory Board decided to work through the four days of Re-O’Week and answer the simple question, “Will I Get Cancelled For This?” For each day we have created some phenomenally simple guidelines: Embrace Your Inner, Steer Clear Of, and Will I Get Cancelled For This?
WEDNESDAY – WINTER WHITE OUT AND THE UV GLOW PARTY
The theme is simple, show up in something white.
Embrace Your Inner… P-Diddy.
No one could touch Puff back when Puff had it. Elegant yet understated his white parties were the modern day Gatsby.
Steer Clear Of
The White Party is a tricky one. Go too simplistic and risk being a Gloriavale girl, too flashy and your a Backstreet Boy three days early for a retro party
Will I Get Cancelled For This?
“A plain white tee, khakis and a Make America Great Again cap.” Yeah. That particular white out party was so last year.
THURSDAY – BEERFEST AND THE GIRLS ARE ON!
Honestly, we have no idea what the “girls are on”. But it’s in the Outback so we are going to assume the answer is ket.
Embrace Your Inner… Tradie.
It is Beerfest so we are guessing whatever Harley Davidson or AC/DC shirt you have lying around the house will allow you to mindlessly fit in with the 28-year-olds coming straight from the building site.
Steer Clear Of traditional Beerfest costumes.
Leave the lederhosen at home or risk being mistaken for one of the Outback bar staff.
Will I Get Cancelled For This?
Let’s be honest, this thing is so filled with builders and plumbers it is a risk for reverse cancelation. Your outfit is fine but if you start talking about your pronouns be prepared to be ostracised by someone with a year-10 education.
FRIDAY – BACK BAR TAKEOVER AND OLD SCHOOL FRIDAY
We assume Old School is loosely anything from the latter part of 2015 on.
Embrace Your Inner… 90s.
Think Fresh Prince or early Mariah although no one ever went wrong with the Kurt Cobain Grunge Cardigan either and adding some rips in jeans is surely going to increase the resale value in them somewhere down the line, right?
Steer Clear Of going too retro.
80s can be fun particularly if you go all out with the hairspray and the oversized belts. 70s can walk that fine line between looking like you are trying too hard or not trying at all. Just wearing cool sunglasses doesn’t make you a hippie. The crucial point here is that if you use colonial muskets and influenza you may be bordering on a hate crime.
Will I Get Cancelled For This Catholic school girl outfit?
If Britney isn’t free then neither is her wardrobe bitch!
SATURDAY – TWOFOLD & FRIENDS AND NEW SCHOOL SATURDAYS
Is it just us or is putting “& Friends” the equivalent of “I have a girlfriend I met through the internet.” If you can’t name the friends don’t elude to them. Also what the fuck is a new school?
Embrace Your Inner… we are tempted to say “friends” here.
Largely in the hope that we can turn this into an unexpected Central Perk themed night. Either that or dress like someone that is entirely new to school – big backpack and everything. The truth though is that this will largely just be a normal night in town so you will probably dress like Olivia Rodrigo or someone who thinks their time playing for the 1st XV was the best time of their life.
Steer Clear Of
New school or not, NO ONE can pull off Lorde’s yellow beach outfit. Including and especially Lorde.
Will I Get Cancelled For This
“Ok hear me out, White ‘dress’ Crocs with custom Jibbitz I got online.” Cancelled, no. But you should seriously consider all of your life choices that have led you to this point. I mean seriously, who hurt you?
