TOP 10

10. You’ve already started skipping lectures – If you’re gonna drop out at the end of the trimester then why go?

9. Finding yourself rocking up to the piss shop on a Tuesday – Once again, if you’re gonna drop out then you might as well enjoy yourself right?

8. You’ve started writing for Nexus – You’ve probably realised you’d be a useless cunt with a finance degree but can write, to some degree.

7. You’ve started a shitposting page – So you’re wagging all your classes, but you’re looking for an even bigger waste of time. Say no more.

6. ‘Top 10 paying jobs that don’t require a degree’ is in your search history.

5. You’re enrolled at Otago University – Be honest, you’re only there to kill the few brain cells that made you make that decision

4. You’re spending your time in lectures online shopping or playing Runescape – just go home, you’re wasting your time

3. You’ve bought a set of decks – You’re just going to start wagging class to get good on them before next weekends hisser

2. If you’ve gotten yourself a girlfriend within the first week – you just won’t be good for it after that

1. If your degree has the word ‘arts’ written on it somewhere – Good luck, I hear this will only make you qualified enough to become a highschool caretaker

Josh Umbers