Recently I’ve been sitting on the idea of gambling and what that looks like for me. Here’s the current issue I’m facing, I don’t want to be putting money into horses. The real kicker is that it’s not because I don’t want to support an industry that abuses animals–it’s how sad I know–but because I’m actually so scared of the giant beasts with their tails that’s all bone [look it up] and feet the size of dinner plates.

 

I understand that it’s irrational for sure but instead of pouring money into something that scares the life out of me, I thought I’d look into things that I actually enjoy, or anything that gave me a good chuckle when I was looking into photos of them. So here’s a small list of sports I’d much rather take my 10 huck and bet on than horses or kuri. 

 

Ultimate Frisbee

 

I’ve been seeing this more frequently at the parks near beaches, or shamelessly on a busy field in front of arguably real sports. What’s interesting about Frisbee is just how into it the players are. They’re pouring their heart and soul into a game that simply looks silly from the outside perspective. There’s nothing negating the definite talent I’m sure it takes to play but that won’t stop me side-eyeing them. Also there’s no referee – this is part of the ‘Spirit of the Game’, or Ultimate’s emphasis on sportsmanship and fair play. So no rules right?

 

 

Unicycle Hockey

 

So it’s like if clowns got so fed up with making everyone laugh and took to the streets with a stick, a puck and a dream. Imagine what you think it looks like, and know you’re 100% correct in your visualisation–but just so much better than that. Balance and coordination is a heavy requirement but what makes it a solid call for betting is injury based advantage. Falling isn’t penalised, meaning you can ride over someone’s face, leaving a condescending single track across their dome. Sign my gumby ass up.

Beer Crate Running 

 

Is this not purchasing a crate too late on crate day? I know you’ve all been a victim to this, why would we not capitalise on this?

 

Hairiest Back 

 

One for the girls. I’ve read tales of men dropping shirts to compete for the thickest patches of hair covering that untouched skin. I don’t know about you, but you ever just look at someone and just know they’re hiding bigfoot under their carhartt sweaters. So I’m sure I could make bank on figuring out who’s who in the world of hairy boys. 

Egg+Spoon Race

 

A childhood classic, and one for the books. I want to just take a minute to appreciate how intense those kids can get when there’s the promise of what, a chocolate bar or some stickers? Either way, it’s kill or be killed. I’m putting my money on the wee speck-wearing tyke. They’re the ones to watch, so to speak, because you know there’s nothing else going on in that head.