Once the dumper, always the dumper. Trust me on this. If you went through my list of ex’s and asked them what the common trait in our relationship was, I’m sure they’d say, “They handled me breaking up with them like a champ” Jokes on you though, I was the one breaking up with you. But you just didn’t see it coming.
Breakups are never easy and no one is out here expecting you to be okay on day 1, but you have to be realistic. No one wants to be 4 weeks deep into a break-up still watching twilight with a bag of chips resting on your chest, basically just shovelling them in. You need to be ready to bounce back quickly because you’re worth more than empty tears for someone who couldn’t give a fuck about you, sorry for the harsh truth my friends but honestly I’m trying to be brutal because someone needs to make you face the reality that they’ve probably moved on. And you can too.
As a person who’s always got itchy feet, it’s probably pretty rich of me telling you some breakup coping techniques but think about it more from the perspective of someone who comes out okay on the other side, always. I’ve got it down to an art, a skill that I probably shouldn’t put on my resume.
Anyhow, here’s a few things I’ve picked up over the years:
Be firm and concise
So you’re going to do the breaker upping. Good on you bitch. #gatekeep #gaslight (don’t manipulate people, fuckers). You need to establish why you’re breaking up and what that means moving forward for you both. Nothing open ended and certainly don’t let them think there’s hope of getting back together. There’s not. You need to take control and put your whole ass bedussy on the line, be a bad bitch.
Your mates are godsends
Having a good group of mates to help you through is just the top tier. Nothing beats crying to your bestie and them hyping you up and giving you the big yes, you are in the right. But you also have to be realistic with yourself. Surrounding your grief with yes people has never solved the problem. Always have that one bitch who’s going to be a bitch. It’s their job to smack you into order when the going gets tough and you’re ready to throw the towel in.
Burn their shit
Take this literally or figuratively, I don’t care. I’m against holding onto the memory items and unless it has value, get rid of their shit mate. The way that you can’t move on if you’re holding onto material objects. You need to have it gone before you can ever start the grieving process. Plus it doesn’t smell like them; that’s B.O.
Your feelings are yours
You wanna spend the night having a fat cry into your pillow. Chill, that’s your decision. As long as you’re feeling your feelings in a healthy, safe way then why stifle them? It’s all about finding some kind of balance, my friends. While feeling those feelings is important, so is realising you have to move forward eventually. Just find your time.
Honestly it may feel like the end of the world now, but it’s not. It’s just your time to grow and learn important life skills. Life is a bit of a bitch sometimes, giving important lessons in the form of some real shitty breakups with some real shitty people, but there’s a reason for everything. There’s no definitive way of dealing with a breakup (sorry about it) because every person deals with emotions differently. You have to create your own path and figure out what works for you. Misleading title, I know.
