Recent prices for buying homes has become unreasonable with Kirikiriroa reaching a new high for median cost of a 3 bedroom house at $847,591, with our median income at $39,583. The maths isn’t maths-ing my friends and something isn’t right. We’re not trying to be cynical, but the reality is, we’re all going to struggle to find houses within our lifetime without the untimely death of a rich overseas relative or if you somehow crack the code with lotto. This week, Jak and Lily work together to give you a list of suggestions to help you combat the current housing crisis, but we’re no experts so take these with a grain of salt (if you can afford it).
Tiny homes – Tiny homes are genuinely becoming one of the most realistic options for our generation in terms of future homes. Depending what style and size you are interested in, they usually cost from $20,000 to $100,000. I love tiny homes; I could easily see myself living in one with a loft bed and a sunny reading nook. They are possibly not ideal if you are claustrophobic, tall, or if you have any family, however they are suited for some.
Split a room – Half serious, but sometimes sharing a room in a flat can cut costs and you can basically grow a sibling bond with someone you’ve never met. You get to be in the same room all the time as someone who could potentially sniff your hair as you sleep, or stare intently as you sleep, or spoon you as you sleep. They’ll watch from the corner of their eye as you change post-shower. You’ll have an audience if you bring a sneaky link around (great for exhibitionists). Perhaps sharing a room isn’t all that, but at least you get a cuddle buddy most nights!
Pak n save Mill Street carpark. – This is the perfect prime location! Central to town, free Wi-Fi, great bargains, and low food prices! (Not sponsored by paknsave.) You basically only need a car, or a cardboard box and you are away. Also, there’s only an 85% chance you’ll be robbed or attacked by someone on drugs!
Couchsurfing – Now, it’s a tale as old as time but it’s a good one so trust me on this. Those couches that you picked up off the street during O’week? Yeah, well chuck a tiger print blanket on her and you’ve got yourself a bed that would rival any fancy hotel on a good day. The benefits are there, and you get to hang with different mates every week. Results!
Papakainga – If you aren’t sure what a papakainga is, it’s basically an extended whanau living together in a commune type situation. For example, this could be a large house shared by 15-20 extended family members. Sounds like a tight squeeze, but not if it’s built with 6 bathrooms and 3 lounges. Papakainga could also mean a group of small houses on ancestral land that live closely together. Another great idea! Splitting costs with extended whanau means it could be affordable to build a house! You just need a family. You also need to have a reasonably functional family if you want to avoid conflict. Possibly just don’t invite your weird uncle into the discussion.
Sleep at the gym – Chances are you took up a sweet deal on a gym contract like some chump, but all is not lost because there’s gotta be some good to be found in that sweet, sweet 24h access card (unless it’s a staffed gym, sorry to you). You know the squat benches? Well they double really well as a bed. And if you’re feeling really risque, try laying down some of the workout mats and turning them into a bed; that’s for sure comfier than any box spring with shitty Kmart sheets.
Sugar daddy’s house – Have several older men in your Instagram dms telling you you’re gorgeous and deserve to be treated like a queen? Take them up on their offer! How could it possibly go wrong? I can only see benefits with living with your sugar daddy: free food, accommodation, free clothes, and an old man telling you how hot you are. May as well benefit financially from creepy entitled men hitting on you for once! You may have to move to the United States or Nigeria as this is where they live in my experience, what an adventure. Perfect plan. 10/10.
Now, we’re not that cynical usually but we promise that things are going to get better. If you’re one of the lucky ones that can actually receive the $350 for the government, make sure you use it for something that can help you for the better, like those expenny sheet sets they keep advertising on instagram. Work smarter, not harder.
