AQUARIUS JAN 20 – FEB 18

This week will force you to confront the difference between choice and consequence. Know what you can ignore and what you must abide by. For instance, if you absolutely must “screw the crew” then keep your mask on.

PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20

Remember not to lose yourself to your better demons in confusing times. Empathy is the cornerstone of existence. You may be struggling, but you are safe. The O’Week drug dealer who relies on selling molly at a foam party, now has to find another way to feed her kids.

ARIES MAR 21 – APR 19

The universe constantly throws up meet-cutes for epic love stories, your eyes met across the lecture theatre on the first day and you were in love ever since. This isn’t your story, we hope you aren’t allergic to cats.

TAURUS APR 20 – MAY 20

There is so much pressure on you to lose your virginity, have fun and be cool. Just be yourself #WelcomeToOrchardPark

GEMINI MAY 21 – JUN 20

Honestly, it kills you that you can’t sit in the front row of a zoom call, right? Embrace your inner geek this week. It works for you.

CANCER JUN 21 – JUL 22

Perseverance is key. We know this first week will be tough but it is only 328,320 minutes until the end of your first year at Uni. Kia kaha.

LEO JUL 23 – AUG 22

Some people are destined to be friends. Others are destined to be the punchline of the anecdote “You should see who I had to share a floor with in first year.” Either way, they will be talking about you

VIRGO AUG 23 – SEP 22

Don’t worry your degree has at least six more O’Weeks or ReO’Week’s, there are plenty more opportunities to have casual sex while covered in foam.

LIBRA SEP 23 – OCT 22

Just think, today is either the first day of your degree or the start of your “I almost became a…” story you will tell your kids.

SCORPIO OCT 23 – NOV 21

It’s not all bad, there are people in hospital. Worse than that, some people even went to Massey University, stop complaining!

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 – DEC 21

Don’t lose faith in yourself. If some higher power really didn’t want you going to University they would have sent some sort of sign to keep you away from large gatherings and lecture theatres.

CAPRICORN DEC 22 – JAN 19

Getting boosted doesn’t just save your lives and the lives of others, it may also be what is happening to your car right now if you have left in the gate one car park.