Horoscopes – 22nd May 2023
Aries
Chucky – You’re fuck off annoying and have a short temper. Despite looking like a bitch, you somehow manage to keep coming back.
Taurus
Ghost Face – Despite all of your horror movie knowledge, you’re still going to lose. You’re clumsy, predictable, and sometimes have a poor motive behind your actions.
Gemini
Freddy Krueger – Gemini’s are all about creativity, and where can you be more creative than in a dream?
Cancer
Leatherface – Any slasher villain who finds time to host his final girl at a family dinner is a Cancer.
Leo
Patrick Bateman – You’re not one for demons and rituals, but that doesn’t mean you have an ounce of sanity inside. At least you’re hot.
Virgo
Norman Bates – You got a lot of issues, and it’s turned you into a bit of a psycho (hehe). At least you always have a plan.
Libra
Hannibal Lecter – Charisma is a dangerous weapon, and you have loads of it. At least that means you’ll never be alone (or hungry).
Scorpio
Michael Myers – Scorpios are mysterious and hard to read, so this is an obvious match. You can’t catch a break from getting the W.
Sagittarius
Pinhead – We’ll ignore what Hellraiser was about and remind you of how adventurous you are. Like Pinhead, you have a hunger for knowledge and new experiences.
Capricorn
Jason Vorhees -With such a high body count, you are well experienced in your area of expertise. Capricorns do love to be the best at whatever they attempt.
Aquarius
John “Jigsaw” Kramer – You’re a visionary who wants to make the world a better place. Please stop. Go home.
Pisces
Candyman – You have a tragic backstory and feel things very strongly. You certainly built up a bit of a reputation because of it.