Certainly I can’t be the only one that got glock glock 3000’d into the groundbreaking TV show that is How to Build a Sex Room on Netflix. The title is kind of a dead giveaway, and I think that you’re definitely missing out if you’re not watching the sweetest kuia, Melanie Rose, as she whips out shiny butt plugs and the odd sounding rod in an attempt to gauge the clients reaction to sexual gratitude. It’s a fucking hoot, but there’s a bigger kōrero at play here as the stigma of sex starts to unravel, having the clients express their inner desires to a woman they’d just met. But more importantly though, to the one they share their life with.
Am I looking too deep into a show about enhancing sex lives through spanking benches and hard points mounted to a table with an ass imprint? Fuck knows, but it’s got me thinking about sex and intimacy and what that really means as an early 20’s kid trying to get a grip on who he is in the world of rubbing fronts and experiencing the wonders of a body that isn’t my own. That’s not to say I’m turned on by my own body. Shit, now you’re all probably thinking that I’m some crazed lunatic with a self-obsessed view of myself. Fuck.
For those of you who have amazing recall, I came out as straight a few issues ago for pride. Was that appropriate? Yes, because me understanding, or rather attempting to understand, my sexuality is all a part of that queer experience. With sexuality and confusion comes experimentation. For most, it’s hard to open up in a sexual situation with all those inherant fears of judgement and whether you’re going to be good enough in the sack to warrant a second meeting. Whether you’re going to measure up to their ex, their expectations, or their wildest fantasies. Though why worry about the unknown or could’ve beensm when you could just fuck around and see what sticks. Can you tell I love an innuendo?
Melanie Rose, while a fantastic designer, works as an informal sex therapist. One of the things I find the most interesting is how open a couple becomes strictly from talking about their sex habits or kinks. I find it beautiful in some weird, probably voyeuristic way to look into the lives of someone through their more hidden attributes. As a human, you’re intrigued by the unknown, a sick perversion to understand everything about someone you don’t really know, and that’s honestly one of the more interesting things about the psyche and the inner workings of a human brain. It’s kind of poetic if you think about it for long enough.
Somehow, I turned a pretty simple premise of a show into a well-rounded argument for sex without pressure. Never will I claim to be an expert on sex, so understand that firstly, but I am experienced enough to understand that it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Don’t fuck, or do – it’s your choice to make. It wouldn’t be a Hoata editorial without some kind of life lesson, I’m just THAT complex team 😉
