Dear Mature Student,
I’ve just begun my degree and I don’t know if it’s the right path for me. What do you suggest?
With peace and love, I think you need to let go of this notion that you will ever know for sure what the right path for you in life is. It’s folly, bro. It’s nonsense. The element of random chance, added to our collapsing economy and a long-stretching pandemic – I honestly think the best that we can do during this time is to just get through.
But what does that mean for your degree, then? Who knows. Now that you’re (technically) an adult, there are going to be lots of times in your life when you’re faced with these tough life decisions – like if your degree is the right path.
I would ask you, then, how the fuck is anyone supposed to know how anything is gonna turn out? You can’t see the future, my dear. And you certainly can’t know how your life would have turned out if you chose differently. I guess that would make my answer: ‘who cares?’ Just pick a degree at random and don’t look back. My only real advice would be to study something you actually enjoy, rather than what you, your family, the internet says you should do.
All of my mates don’t want to go to O’week, is it chill to go alone?
I mean.. Yeah? Nah? No? Kind of? A little bit?
I am a staunch campaigner for hanging out with yourself – one of my favourite activities is to get super blazed in my car and go to the movies alone. You should be able to be comfortable in your own company, sure.
But, at the risk of sounding like your parents, riding solo in town can be lowkey dangerous. You never know what kind of creeps are out there, especially at a time where they know there’ll be lots of intoxicated young people there without supervision. I’m not trying to scare you.. I just worry about you, you know? It’s up to you whether you feel comfortable going to O’week by yourself. Just.. Don’t leave your drink unattended, have some sort of escape route planned so you can get home, and make sure someone you trust knows where you are. And let me know when you get home safe, please (email jared@nexusmag.co.nz).
What was one of the hardest parts of studying for you? How do you combat burnout?
Obviously this is gonna vary for everyone, but the hardest part of studying for me has been being a mature student in a sea of
vintage-sports-tee-ironic-hat-baggy-jeans-chuck-taylor-wearing young people. It’s hard to explain to fresh-faced rangatahi that you can’t do daily Zooms about your group project because you have like, a job, and a family, and gardening, and The Chase starts at 5:00pm, and I’ve got to take my medication, and no employer is ever gonna look at what grades you got in all your papers so… who even fucken cares, man?
And the answer to burnout, I’ve found, is boundaries. Don’t answer work communications when you aren’t at work. Don’t do uni shit when you aren’t at uni. Take the grade penalty if you need a few more days on your assignment. Turn your phone off every once in a while.
Spend time with the people that you love. Watch TV. Go for a walk. Read a fucken book. Life is a long game, and if you burn yourself out now, you’ve got a long road of bitterness and lethargy ahead of you (trust me). Google ‘The Nap Ministry’ for more along these lines.
Love ya!
