Suburban dad purchases ute Geoff, a local Team Manager, father and brown-nose operating out of Rototuna, Hamilton has made a great new purchase. Geoff is now the proud owner of a brand new Ford Ranger. “Yeah there’s pretty much fuck all parking at my job, house and pretty much...
Late 90’s model farm ute still starts but requires push A local farmer operating just out of Te Awamutu has rolled his 1997 Toyota Hilux for the 6th time in his 19 years of ownership. Despite walking out unscathed the car in question appears to have taken some damage....
David Bennett sighting A local student spotted a wild David Bennett in the wee hours of the morning in the Village Green last Thursday. “I was just walking along and minding my own business on my way back to College Hall when I heard this whisper. This voice in...
Student wastes another entire sunday on the couch Local marketing breather, Lachlan, 20, did not move from his couch at all on Sunday following a heavy night of drinking on Saturday. Apart from tidying his flat after a ‘huge as fuck sesh’ for an hour or so in the...
World health Organisation quarantines student area New Zealand’s uphill battle with corona-virus is looking to end relatively soon should vigilance remain. However, the World Health Organisation (WHO) has recognised the “cesspool of STD’s, rodents and durry munchers”, that currently occupy Hamilton’s student area, as a potential threat. “What New...
Furniture Sales Ahead of Sesh There’s been a massive surge in the number of furniture sales around the country this week ahead of what is predicted to be “the sesh of all sesh’s”. Stores such as K-mart, Big Save and the Warehouse are all lowering prices on these items...
Zoom functions perfectly for ageing professor When Grace, a 21 year old science major logged into her zoom session for what seemed like an ordinary Wednesday lecture she was bewildered to see that it was anything but. Her ageing professor, with 2 PhD’s, 31 years of experience and a...
Middle aged women becomes overnight environmentalist We recently interviewed Deb 38, a worker at ‘full time mummy’. “Honestly someone just needed to get the word out about this, I’ve seen so much news on Facebook”. What Deb refers to is, of course, the global instances of nature remediation. “So...
