I called someone an ignoramus the other day, and I can’t figure out if this emotion I’m feeling is regret or straight-out embarrassment. Why was this relevant? Well because we’re talking about taboos. Tapu topics are kind of scary to talk about as a whole, which I understand but sometimes we need to demystify what’s scary about them and ask ourselves if we’re scared of hearing the truth. The latter is usually the case, so let’s talk about it.
As someone from a somewhat open family, I’ve always been given the space to ask questions and discuss difficult shit. But as someone from a fairly large family, I veered out of fear. This is not to say that I’m not completely open now, but I had siblings that took the extroverted roles before I even had the chance to choose. There was never any hush hush about sex or drugs or drinking, my parents did all those things and couldn’t hide it from us. I was exposed to the harsh realities of life very early but it helped me grow into the understanding person I am now. But that didn’t come without its struggles.
As an extrovert now, I rely on the ability to speak freely and openly without fair judgement. You’re more than likely going to get the harsh truth out of me. If you’re my colleague, I’ll divulge my deepest darkest secrets. But honestly I’ve not always been like that. I’m someone who will lie if it means saving face and not hurting feelings (Something I don’t do anymore). The term ignorance is bliss would apply to me, because I tried so hard not to discuss difficult topics in fear of being an asshole or hurting feelings. This isn’t the tahi team. Never stifle yourself out of fear that the recipient of your anger might hate you because of it. Ignorance isn’t bliss and you aren’t better for not being open. You’re probably reading this with the question of how and why this relates to taboos, and I’m getting to the point.
Because of my fear of hurting feelings, I never talked to those who were frustrating me and letting them know why what they were doing was fucked. The same can be said about discussing tapu or taboo topics. We need to be able to openly discuss what it is that’s affecting us or the problem will never be solved. I think time and place right? There’s no need to open up completely while at a tangi but we should be able to talk about drugs, sex or whateber it is in everyday life. Unless it’s being a furry… no judgement.
This week, we just wanted to clear the air and let out some frustrations about taboo topics and some gripes we’ve been having recently. Don’t be afraid to just completely let loose and discuss with your family that you’re really into MDMA at the moment. Because that should be okay to talk about, but don’t do drugs.
