Horoscopes
AQUARIUS JAN 20 – FEB 18
There is potential for great joy for you this week in a randomly chosen dessert. Treat yourself but choose with your eyes closed. You can thank us later.
PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20
When you catch yourself daydreaming in your lectures this week, remind yourself that the world is in desperate need of your visionary talents. But you have to graduate first.
ARIES MAR 21 – APR 19
Some people consider your direct approach to be rude, but don’t pay any mind to those people. It’s refreshing. Go do you, you spicy lil tactless banana.
TAURUS APR 20 – MAY 20
That comfy woolen sweater that you love is slowly becoming obsolete. Not in a fashion sense, it’s timeless. More in a warming planet kind of way. Make the most of it while you can.
GEMINI MAY 21 – JUN 20
Charm will only get you so far in life. It will get you further if you learn the art of the well timed exit. Smile and wave across an empty room and just walk away.
CANCER JUN 21 – JUL 22
Nevermind your looming deadlines, you will find the capacity to complete right when you need it. For now you can afford a few more minutes to read everybody else’s horoscopes.
LEO JUL 23 – AUG 22
You are a beautiful creature. Did you know that? Of course you did. This is just to remind you that everybody else knows it too. So… good news.
VIRGO AUG 23 – SEP 22
It is simpler than you think it is. Once you get started you will find that it all starts falling into place. Unlike the jigsaw puzzle you attempted at Christmas.
LIBRA SEP 23 – OCT 22
Even though you cannot see the stars when the sun is shining, the stars can still see you. Your outfit is on point today.
SCORPIO OCT 23 – NOV 21
Take a deep breath and let it go. In five years from now you won’t even remember this. It will be just another thing that seemed like a big deal but wasn’t.
SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 – DEC 21
Your ability to think quickly will serve you well this week, but use your powers wisely. A witty comeback is a good choice, talking back to your mum is not.
CAPRICORN DEC 22 – JAN 19
The impending workload looks overwhelming but you have nothing to fear. You’ll stay on top of it all. The horoscopes section of a student magazine wouldn’t lie to you.