Vodka: You’re hot, but you’re insane. You’re the type of person to show up to the function with a 1L Smirnoff bottle and just straight raw-dog the entire thing way too quickly then be confused about why you blacked out. Also, give the noise beers a rest, will you?

RTDs: You’re invited to everything, which is surprising because you hijack the speaker at least once per function to play club music. No matter what you’re wearing, your 10-pack is part of the outfit and will not be leaving your side. You also take way too long to get ready.

Tequila: You probably drink every weekend. You’re not the best at making decisions, but you are the best at making cocktails in the friend group! Because of this, you pulled up to the function with a bottle of tequila, orange juice, Sprite, and grenadine, and best believe no one’s allowed to stay sober around you.

Soju: You’re probably financially responsible, considering the price of soju. Somehow, after having two bottles—followed by sips of other people’s drinks and licking the residue out of a mysterious baggie—you suddenly realize you chatted up the Uber driver, danced with your ex-best friend in town, and somehow ended up in bed.

Wine: Is this something you would honestly drink by choice? Or is this just a last resort because you spent your whole paycheck on food, and now you have just about $10 left and promised to pay your friend back for the Uber on Wednesday?

Whiskey: You’re either a baddie in STEM or you hang out mostly with engineers. I can see you being the first one to throw up and pass out (with the bottle still in your hand), and somehow, at 1 AM, you arise from the dead and continue partying like nothing happened.