Recently, I have been thinking about what pride means to me as a disabled individual who is also a part of the LGBTQ+ community. And, to put it simply, the answer is freedom. Freedom to love whoever I want regardless of my sexuality and interest in romance – but also to love regardless of what my body may or may not be hindered by. To remember that there is more to me than just the disability that compromises my mobility, and sometimes my mind. And that love can be simple or complicated and still be beautiful. Confused? Let me explain.

 

Dating as a queer person can be challenging at the best of times (thanks COVID for throwing another curveball for it), but dating as a disabled person adds another round of challenges. On top of the usual “will this person be attracted to my physical appearance?”, “what if I slip up?”, “how do I make a good impression?” and “is this too much or too far?”, there are other questions to consider. “Will this person support my access needs?”, “will this person look at me and say I’m too much?”, “does this person even know what my condition is?”, and “what if they are ableist?” It can be extremely intimidating. Pride can be a reminder that no matter what, we are deserving of love. Our conditions and the ways we have to adapt to life do not mean that we are incapable of loving or being loved.

 

This is something that we often forget, which is heartbreaking. So often I find myself – and hear others find themselves – thinking of their disabled selves as burdens or not good enough. Thinking that others should go find less because they are too much. And pride highlights that love should always win. That love does not discriminate against body types or attraction to certain genders or how capable our bodies are. Pride is a reminder that love transcends the physical world, and is a union of two (or more) souls and minds, as well as bodies. That love is based more on human connection and positivity rather than what can hinder or challenge a person.

 

You may be asking yourself – how can I help? How can I celebrate disabled people and the queer community? How can I support people? And the answer to this is simple, too. Know enough about what challenges a disabled person – their condition, the specific effects they deal with – but also ask and learn about them as a person. What music do they love? What are their favourite memories? Remind them that there is more to them than their disabilities, and that they are worthy of love.

 

To members of the disabled community – I understand why you may forget how amazing you are. How you can feel consumed by the disability and all that it entails. But you are worthy. There is more to you than your disability. And you are both cherished and deserve to be cherished. And life has many beautiful connections in store for you.