Not to be one of those doomsday people (I swear I’m not) but at some point, we have to admit that there will be an ‘end of the world’ scenario. And it pays to be prepared, so here’s what to do when our environment goes down the trash.

Step 1 – DIY alter all of your clothes, since the rising earth temperature is going to make the sweating rise like hell and we want to stay cool. Think Regina George tank top style, and apply that as you will.

Step 2 – Stock up on all the essentials. You know, toilet paper, canned or dehydrated food, and either condoms or books depending on what kind of person you are. Make sure you have enough to hide in whatever underground bunker you find yourself in. Life on the surface will be hell.

Step 3 Version A – Memorize what a tree looks like, or a bush or a lake or whatever you’re into. You might never see one again when the next level solar flares hit and burn everything to a crisp. It’s probably going to wipe everything clean way better than what happened with the dinosaurs.

Step 3 Version B – panic

Step 4 – Accept your fate, no matter what it is. Either go hide away from the environmental and worldwide collapse, or stand out in the open and accept the coming demise with open arms like that sacrificial character in cheesy movies.

Step 5 – If you didn’t accept your demise and chicken out, live the rest of your life not able to ever feel the touch of sunlight again. You’ll turn into some version of the Cullen family, probably go insane, and pick up some seriously strange hobbies to pass the time. I’m thinking like airbending or something.

Good luck for the end of the world, you’ve got all the essential steps now.