AQUARIUS JAN 20 – FEB 18
You exist outside of the perception you hold of yourself. While itβs important to remember that you play a role in the lives of others, donβt get ahead of yourself by thinking you play a role of any value.
PISCES FEB 19 – MAR 20
Oops! Donβt mind me. I just climbed the Huks again! Hehe. I just love getting out there. Donβt wanna just become a full-blown alco aye! Bottomless this weekend?
ARIES MAR 21 – APR 19
Your ability to read social situations is uncanny, not only are you capable of being the least interesting person in any conversation, your knack for being forgettable is nothing shy of tragic.
TAURUS APR 20 – MAY 20
Itβs early days but youβre doing well. Thereβs plenty of time for the mistakes, and plenty of time to learn from your shocking choices. Just promise yourself to never become a UoW Student Ambassador and everything might actually end up okay.
GEMINI MAY 21 – JUN 20
Damn bro hold up. You racked up the other night? Fuck bro thatβs so skux, honest! Nah, tell me again how much you dropped though? Woah, shit dog thatβs wild! Haha!
CANCER JUN 21 – JUL 22
Chances are to them youβre nothing but a phase. They started talking to you with the sole intention of one day rattling you off as just another stereotype they were once so quirky for being into.
LEO JUL 23 – AUG 22
Your lack of Tinder success isnβt down to bad luck or shit chat, youβre just a bit unfortunate looking. With time youβll come to accept this, maybe one day someone slightly more unfortunate will shed some pity. Hold out hope.
VIRGO AUG 23 – SEP 22
Ew you believe in love? Grow up, sweetie. Do you really think someone will ever truly care about you?Β Β
LIBRA SEP 23 – OCT 22
Sorry, what was that? Oh haha yeah sorry I had my AirPods in. The new Tame Impala is so chill aye? Wait you havenβt listened to it? My taste is pretty lowkey aye haha, nah but let me make you a playlist!
SCORPIO OCT 23 – NOV 21
Before you enter your relationship take a deep breath and assess the situation. Could this lead to something serious? Or are you the result of a desperate, receding hairline induced, quest for companionship.
SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 – DEC 21
Omg yes! That zodiac post is so you! Definitely put it on your story babes.
CAPRICORN DEC 22 – JAN 19
Mental health is optional. Get ahead of the curve and hone your self-destructive traits β synthetic food, copious porn, and the inability to process emotions would be a good place to start.
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