If, for some psychotic reason, you followed along with Jak’s VERY well detailed deep dive into the world of conspiracy theories (you know, the one where he was actually drugged and went into a week-long drug fuelled psychosis) then we’re certain you’re probably concerned seeing that he’s once again back at it again. But he makes it more religion based this time around.

 

2022 saw the revival and high of the Satanist uprising. Want to know why? Stranger Things is your call. Eddie Munson came swooping in and stole our hearts–or our weird finger horns if you’re educated. But with that came the normalising of what some consider the fringes of society, that mainstream recognition of what’s usually quite macabre–are we as people finally healing?

 

Here’s something I’ve been hiding from everyone this entire year. I’ve been hanging out with a group of Satanists to discuss traditional Satanism and Theistic Satanism. Under the guise of a ‘small interview’, I bid farewell to everyone on my journey to chat shit with seemingly strangers in the hopes of a small conversation. Here’s the thing, I’ve been going to speak with them all for months in the hopes of uncovering a certain fringe of society. Also to see what their thoughts are on Eddie Munson–a reminder of their origins and how the media decides to represent them. 

 

Before uncovering the underbelly of Satanism in Aotearoa, I first need to delve into the world of Satanic Panic–what came to be to make those who are…are? In 2018, we sat down with Frankie Vegas of TST (The Satanic Temple) which resulted in a conversation about self-identity and what it meant to be a Satanist in NZ in 2018. 

 

Frankie Vegas: For myself, it’s the taking of personal responsibility. Knowing being ‘other’ is more than fine. The life lessons that saved me when I needed them when I was younger. And the example John Milton’s Lucifer sets: that you should fight the good fight, be the adversary, you need to be even if you know you won’t win, you’ll know you’ve done the right thing. To always question unjust and arbitrary authority. And now, the community. It’s a community of fun and love.

Going into this investigation, I had only a few quotes to go off and some clips from film or excerpts from a cannibal corpse video. These couldn’t have prepared me for some of the heartiest conversations or most intense deep-dives of my life. I want to preface this piece (the fact this is just the intro should’ve been your first indication that it was time to leave now) by saying that this is a turn from grace. A lot of the pieces I write are about conspiracy theory–wait that’s too close. They’re about my fall from religi–again I’m sensing a trend. What I’m TRYING to say is that all of what I’m documenting in this piece is my observations, conversations and general musings as I get myself wrapped up in yet another trial worthy of wasting my precious brain cells away. Was I drugged again? Guess we’ll find out. 

 

Editor’s Note: One thing before my preface. This entire piece was meant to be about Satanism and modern Satanists but it turned into an exploration into the occult within Aotearoa. I apologise to the community if you believe I’m lumping you all together, it’s not because I meant too but I just couldn’t stop before I became engulfed.

 

Editor’s Note 2 [the important one]: This piece is going to be built through my journal entries and interviews. Please note all the names have been changed upon request of the individuals as some of the subject matter is delicate and concerning. The story telling isn’t linear, I’m sorry, but it all comes to an ending that makes less sense. I tried.

 

Jan 9

 

I don’t know about you but I’m concerned that I’m missing a beat when it comes to religion. Don’t mishear me, I understand the premise of it but I feel, at times, that everyone else is in on something I’m not. Meaning that I’ll listen to kōrero about God, or interpretations about God, but all I can do is sit there and pretend like I understand–knowing I’ve only been in a church a handful of times in my life.

 

So I decided to click through Google. Looking at pages and pages of the different religions–my eye settled on something that I’ve seen but never thought about till now. Satanism. Even looking at the clickable red link had my eyes flickering. There was something sinister about it but… welcoming? Sounds crazy but I couldn’t help but click onto something. 

 

Hours and hours of scrolling found me looking at imagery, listening to music and observing some of the most intense subject matter–challenging my already lack of faith. A tentative light switch and sit up in bed should’ve helped as I closed tabs upon tabs until I saw a facebook page. Satanic New Zealand. I’d come across it in the past–probably in our old Nexus article and decided to give it a look. 

 

Jan 13

 

Me:  I’m sitting here with Chris who’s going to chat about… well what do you call it?

 

Chris: (laughter) I consider myself a Satanist. There’s other names but that’s the most common and the one I want to be called.

 

Me:  Cool, cool. I don’t really know how to start. Like do I ask how you got into it? Or why?

 

There’s a brief beat as I can see him thinking. Gives me a chance to look around the room at the wall decorations. I can promise I’ve never seen a bigger Mercyful Fate poster/tapestry in my life. I guess I’ve never seen a Mercyful Fate poster/tapestry in my life.

 

Chris: The typical start. I had a rough childhood aye. It wasn’t the easiest growing up poor in rural (removed) during the 70’s. I was abused quite heavily and I turned to music as a way of escaping. Not to be too predictable but bands like Metallica, Black Sabbath, and Scorpions influenced me. I grew my hair out, started wearing leather. I was your average rocker kid. 

 

A glance told me he’d not changed all that much. Sporting a probably original Sabbath shirt under a ripped flannel with tight black jeans and a dangling chain. I was at home.

 

Chris: The world of Satanism came later for me. But to say I follow it as a religion probably isn’t right. It’s more like a lifestyle to me. Like Buddhism? How it’s both a religion and a philosophy–a way of being. I tried anarchy, that fuck the patriarchy and down with the system. Very punk rock. But I was so angry back then. Fighting, spitting, and just being a reckless cunt. It wasn’t what I wanted. From there I stumbled upon Satanism. Actually one of my mates told me about it. 

 

Me:  What about it interested you? Were you immediately sold?

 

Chris: It was a sense of belonging, like I had an understanding of who I was. The 80’s were a different time. And the 90’s came around and it was a thriving network of people who thought the same as me. But I guess a lot of things changed with Satanic Panic and [Peter] Ellis.

 

Peter Ellis’ was convicted for child sex abuse crimes in 1993. This, at the time, sent conservative Christchurch into a panic. Ellis was convicted on 16 counts of sexual abuse against seven children in his care at the Christchurch Civic Creche in June 1993. The case has been highly controversial, largely thanks to the belief the children’s accounts were “contaminated” and that Ellis did not receive a fair trial as a young gay man in a more conservative time. He spent seven years in jail because of his convictions but maintained his innocence up until his death from bladder cancer in 2019. 

I want to revisit that term for a second, Satanic Panic, and what that looked like for Aotearoa–as we were late adopters. Satanic Panic was basically a bunch of conservative parents in the 1980s, responding to a simple video game as a means of combating their flailing relationship with God. The tabletop game, Dungeons and Dragons, was linked with an occult conspiracy, made up by pastors in the Midwest, and naive mothers trying to come up with a reason for the children dressing and Satanic symbols and playing with toys resembling that of the hot underworld. TV pundits, politicians, and religious leaders really thought the game was an entry point to Satanic worship and an imagined vast conspiracy of Satanic cults that supposedly permeated the United States and the entire world. 

 

There were dozens of cases thrown out from court on the grounds of lack of substantial evidence. In Aotearoa, Peter Ellis is the most documented and known case of Satanic Panic, the grounds of his conviction starting with a misquote. “I don’t like Peter’s Black Penis” as said by a child to their mother, sparking the numerous allegations and subsequent trial to ensue.  

Me:  Tell me more about the spirituality of Satanism–what do you take from it?

Chris: Interestingly, the religion of Satanism comes from Atheism. That lack of belief in God. What you need to understand is that I’m not out here creating symbols and sacrificing goats. Satan isn’t some omnipotent being of supernatural force. It’s all about knowledge, freedom, power, and even pleasure. There’s no mindless worship of some unseen deity. For me. That’s not to say it’s not existed historically, but I can’t comment on it. All I need to know and understand is that I can have balance over myself and who I am simply because I can. 

 

I wanted to know more about what he was talking about. The thoughts into what Satanism is and what it isn’t. “There’s no belief or spirituality in Satanism. We’re carnal, we’re sceptical, we’re proudly faithless people.Satanism understands that we are creatures of conceptual consciousness and our concepts are put together in such a way as to make symbols.” words from Peter H Gilmore High Priest of the International Church of Satan. (1)

Me:  You seem to be quite in touch with your spiritual side. As someone a bit lost in the world, how would I go about delving into that side of me? How do I become more in touch with myself?

 

Chris: Porn, I guess? 

 

Obviously he saw my grimace because a gentle punch on the arm and his laughter broke the silence.

 

Chris: There’s no sure-fire way of solving those feelings mate. Trust in yourself and be kind to yourself.

Jan 20-something

A text lights my room in the early hours. 

Chris: I think u shld stop drinkng if u wnt to explore ur spiritual side. Jst a suggestion bro.

 

It’s interesting isn’t it, how much you can take from a simple text. I’m not a massive drinker anyway but I took this personally. Perhaps he’s right? Maybe it’s time to slow it down and focus on my own self over that. Doth Satan require it?

 

Jan 20-Something

 

Last night I was invited to dinner with Chris and his long-term partner. It was a pretty normal meal. I don’t know what I was expecting? Maybe some sort of weird meat or a phallic vege? Either way it was a BBQ and I had a terrific time. 

 

There’s something sort of humbling about looking through the memories of a couple–especially one who shares the same interests and does all the same things. They’re loving, kind, and open with each other. Perhaps it’s my naivete coming through, but shouldn’t they sit in darkness with some candles lit, staring through thinly veiled eyes as a chant can be heard in a guttural kind of way. But this was anything but. Sure they had their fair share of weird trinkets and shit all over the house but nothing was off.

 

Me: Did you meet through Satanism or was it just something you fell upon together?

 

Chris: Funnily enough we met in school. Run with the same people, you can’t escape the bogans aye. The rest is history.

 

Liz: He was a bit of a blow-ass. Drove this laser? Or was it a Famillia? Fuck knows, but it was different colours and constantly had a flat tyre. It was a piece of shit.

 

Chris: I’ve always been a ladies man, mate.

 

Liz: Spirituality has always been a big part of our relationship, we’re just in touch with ourselves and the world around us. I guess Satanism is a part of that now. We’re just happy being us.

 

Chris: Plus black is an easy colour to match our outfits too. 

 

February 1-something

 

I’ve been on a major rabbit-hole, looking at cults within Aotearoa. Not because I assume all Satanists then pull themselves into a cult–that’s shitcunt thinking and I’ll have none of that. More because I was wondering if there were any crossovers and whether I could get more information into the world of the occult. If there was direct correlation between cult-occult-satanism.

 

Unlucky for me, it just became an absolute confusing delve into Centrepoint and the horrors or communal living. There’s fuck all information in Aotearoa, leading me to believe that we’re either no talking about the ritualistic behaviours of Satanists in the past or that we’re just lucky that our community exist in peace without having to commit heinous crimes or engaging in ritualistic ceremonies. 

 

When is something Satanic, occult, or ritualistic? If a crime is committed with certain connotations to religious iconography, then it’s immediately associated with Satan or occult. Kenneth V. Lanning delves deeper into the issue, saying “Some would answer that it is the presence of certain symbols in the possession or home of the perpetrator. What does it mean then to find a crucifix, Bible, or rosary in the possession of a bank robber, embezzler, child-molester. or murderer? If different criminals possess the same symbols, are they necessarily part of one big conspiracy?”

 

Tangent? Definitely. 

 

February 22? Maybe?

 

While I think learning from those in the religion is the best way of discovering more about the thing you’re wanting to learn about, there’s a plethora of information out there. Misconceptions are probably the main and most frequent issue with Satanism. 

 

Church of Satan reverend, Ashley S Palmer, explains that, ‘We Satanists are atheists who adopt ‘Satan’ as a symbol of passion, pride, liberty, and heroic rebellion in the tradition of the proto-Satanic themed poetry and writing of Giosuè Carducci, Lord Byron, John Milton, Benjamin DeCasseres, Mark Twain, and others that predate the founding of the Church of Satan.’

 

These thoughts mirror what I’ve heard, though perhaps said a little more eloquently by Palmer. You can look as much as you want into the world and find nothing but dead ends. If the papers upon papers I’ve printed and plastered through my room are a direct tell–I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared by the prospect of just disappearing into this.

 

March 16

 

Giving up drinking has helped me clear my head. There wasn’t a major need for it, I just thought it made sense if I was exploring more of my spiritual side. I remember reading something somewhere about that. From a science perspective as well, it makes sense right? Any chemical or drug you put in–you’re likely blurring the lines. Though some argue the health benefits of microdosing. In my eternal search, I found results from an experiment conducted in 2018 that saw reasonable improvements from the subjects involved. The conductors reported:

 

“Most were microdosing with psilocybin (55%) or LSD/1P-LSD (48%). Principal components analysis generated three factors examining perceived short-term benefits of microdosing: improved mood and anxiety, enhanced connection to others and environment, and cognitive enhancement—Most participants (78%) reported at least one harm reduction practice they routinely performed while microdosing.” I’m not going to microdose. Not today anyway.

 

But what of the modern uses in Satanism? I think I speak for all when I mention that there’s something interesting about the reduced use of alcohol as a means of looking into oneself when traditional applications saw the drinking of blood. Like actual blood. Karl Spracklen, Professor of Sociology of Leisure and Culture at Leeds Beckett University, speaks of the modern applications of drugs and their correlation with Satan.

 

“Psychoactive substances such as cannabis and alcohol have been used by humans for thousands of years as a way of altering the mind, bonding and having some pleasurable moments of leisurely respite. These substances have been – and continue to be – problematic for religious leaders and secular lawmakers. If the pre-modern use of such substances suggests some ritualistic function, in historical times the legal and moral status of using these substances has been carefully constrained, if the substances have not been banned altogether” 

 

There’s something interesting about moral conundrums and how they relate to our current application of law and the idea of flipping the system through anarchy and the absence of law. Satanism is bad-ass but is it going to become easily digestible if I give into my worldly desires?

 

Some of the films I watched

 

April 8-10

 

If you’re curious, films are a great look into the media representations of what Satanism can and can’t be. It’s an important look into how we’ve come to understand and evolve into thinking. Roping my flatmates in, we settled in for the weekend–taking notes from friends and the internet of the right films to watch. In the middle of my writings, I wanted to share our thoughts on some of the best and worst representations (from non-satanists but film buffs).

 

School of the Holy Beast – 1974. Dir. Norifumi Suzuki

 

Nothing short of stunning, this movie focuses on the hypocrisies of organised religion, as a convent of repressed nuns hold on to their secrets and desires while projecting their internal struggles through perverse and brutal witch hunts. So it’s less about Satanism and more about the occult. But it’s all the same, anti-religion or the absence of religion. This pushes the envelope the way exploitation is known for, but with an especially artistic grace.

 

Black Candles – 1982. Dir. José Ramón Larraz

 

“What the fuck cunt” I think my flatmate summed it up appropriately. It’s basically a torture porn, Satanic horror-gore fuckfest. I have nothing else to say other than it’s definitely a sick look at something that perhaps is missing the point. It’s not the best representation of Satanism but it’s definitely worth a watch if you’re into it. 

 

The Killing of Satan – 1983. Dir. Efren C. Piñon

 

I uh- yeah this was a non-finish. Not because it was too gross or because it wasn’t accurate. It was just fucking weird. It had some sort of mind-control element that could only be described as oddball-slapstick. The acting was weird and the special effects weren’t the most desirable. It’s 95 minutes but I got to the 24 minute mark and pulled the plug. I couldn’t tell you how it was going to end but it was enough to make me uncomfortable for the rest of the night.

 

The Wicker Man – 1973. Dir. Robin Hardy

 

If you’ve not seen The Wicker Man, stop reading and go take a look at it. This movie is NOTHING short of fantastic and I can’t help but laugh all the way through as I remember Sir Chistopher Lee said this was his “greatest achievement in acting”. I’m gobsmacked, as the horror-musical amazes me with its valiant attempt to shock. Time-appropriate, I can see why the audiences would’ve been sick and struggling to watch, but compared to some of the less savoury titles in this list, this shit was a field day. I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re wanting something thought-provoking but if you’re wanting titties and songs about barley then strap-in for the ride of your life. 

 

April 15

 

I finally got around to watching the final episode of season 2 of Stranger Things, prompting a phone call and subsequent visit with Chris. Which then meant meeting his good friend Jason. The reason being, I wanted to discuss more about the character and his representation. There’s no doubt that Chris dresses vastly the same–sporting his band tees and leather more often than not.

 

Me:  Did you guys see the Eddie Character in Stranger Things?

 

Silence. I think I should’ve better prepared myself for this. Fumbling my phone from my pocket, I pulled up a clip of him on youtube. Narrowly avoiding the TikTok edits of those strange fangirls in an attempt to keep myself professional.

 

Jason: Yeah my daughter showed me this, “look Dad it’s you”. (Laughter) Not untrue is it?

 

Chris: He looks like me in High School, but what was up with the horns?

 

Jason: I find him interesting. Do cunts fuck with him in the show? Do they like him?

 

Me:  He’s accused of murder because he was into DnD.

 

There’s a few glances between the gents, I can already hear their thoughts. I wasn’t setting this kōrero up for success, it’s definitely more of a ‘I fucked it’ kōrero. 

 

Chris: So he’s a Satanist? Or an anarchist?

 

Me:  A bit of both I think?

 

Chris: That’s the problem isn’t it, they’re finally putting us on TV but as accused murderers. Is he found guilty in the end?

 

Me: Well yeah but also he dies.

 

April 22

 

You can’t talk about learning Satanism without asking the darker questions. I’ve spoken to the men so many times by this point–kōrero I’ve not included but there’s something that’s been weighing heavy on me.

 

Me: I know it’s sort of going against what we’ve already talked about, kind of steering so far off course from the usual but I want to know. Have you ever been involved in ritualistic things?

 

There was a heaviness to the air, but I don’t think it was inherently negative but reflective. Chris turned to me and sort of cocked his head.

 

Chris: There’s sort of this unspoken thing between me and my mates. We don’t talk about how we got to this point but we got here nonetheless. I spent some time in Aussie, you know this, and I met some weird sects while there. There’s people in the world Jak, and I want you to understand this moving forward, who’s ideals don’t align with anything I know or you know or what you’ll come to find. The use of Magick used with Satanism is where things like traditional rituals start rearing their ugly heads. 

 

Sidenote:

 

Magick (countable and uncountable, plural magicks) noun. 

  • Obsolete spelling of magic
  • Actual magic or sorcery in fiction or in e.g. Wicca, neopaganism or modern witchcraft, as opposed to illusion or stage magic.

 

Chris: So to answer your question, yes I’ve been involved in some weird practices. Part of the reason why I agreed to work with you was because I wanted to somehow be part of stopping the spread of misinformation around Satanism and what the world looks like for me. 

 

Jason: Yeah same bro. I remember being a young 20 something and finding myself literally eating the beating heart of a cow. It’s not some shit I would ever fucking do again but when you’re desperate to be a part of something, you do some weird shit.

 

Chris: There’s darker parts of any and all cultures bro–you’re Māori so you know. There’s tapu stuff that we don’t talk about because it’s nothing to do with us. I can say I’ve done some shit in search of finding myself but I’ve never hurt another human. I stand by that.

 

Jason: I unfortunately can’t say the same. 

 

April 30

 

I learnt more about Hexennacht–Occasion honouring those who fell victim to superstition and pseudoscience, whether by witch hunt, Satanic panic, or other injustices. Basically this is a holiday that’s the antithesis of Christianity, looking at how we can honour the dead who were persecuted by the church in history. Here’s what I find interesting about my findings.

 

The Church has almost always taken charge of crime and punishment, accusing and dealing as they see fit. Understand that this is due to the monarch being in charge for so long–a heavily religious sect that has taken control of the people. We won’t delve too much into my feelings behind the monarch and their illustrious history with crime. But there’s this constant argument against their actions, with the Witch Trials coming to mind. I know the automatic thought is to look to Salem for advice but you go back 100 years to 1563 in the UK for the beginning of theirs. Now, witch trials aren’t pertinent but the capital punishment given to those falsely accused of performing witchcraft shows the abuse of power over the minority.

 

The reason I make this point is we now move forward to the 80’s, looking once again at Satanic Panic and what that meant for the fans of a simple game or heavy music. Predominantly Christian accusers saw the punishment be dealt, making the decisions and casting their weighted votes accordingly. 

 

But Hexennacht, what a concept dude. It’s a celebration while also being a massive FUCK YOU to the monarch and traditional church societies. 

 

May 12

 

Today was the last time I went out to speak with Jason, Liz, and Chris. I wasn’t nervous to talk to them but almost sad that it was the last time. I was also coming from an evening of frustration and arguments with workmates. There wasn’t meant to be any anger though I have a tendency to be quite hot-headed. I’m working on it. Driving always helps me clear my head but something was different about this time. The air was heavy and my heart was beating so fucking fast. Was it something to do with the final kōrero with these men I’ve spent months working with on a story or was it the red bull I shotgunned in the hopes of gaining some liquid courage. Either way, I had shaky hands, white-knuckling my steering wheel.

 

Chris: What’s the main thing you’ve taken from the experience? You learnt shit?

 

Me: I guess I’ve become more receptive to what space I occupy. There’s a lot more to this than I once thought. I couldn’t prepare myself for learning more about the mental struggle of learning more about the works of Satanists.

 

Jason: We’re interested to see what you took and where you go with this. It’s been a fucking hoot talking with you and I think good for us to look back. Something you can’t see the changes without first turning around. I just came up with that shit.

 

Me: I didn’t think that I’d ever get some philosophical answer from this journey. And in my own defence, I still haven’t. I hope no one is offended. Like I’m sorry if I wasted your time in any way. 

 

What was I thinking, of course they didn’t care. It’s been a good journey for us all.

 

Chris: You’re always welcome here mate, it’s been good just chatting to the younger generation. The goal isn’t to convert you but make you conscious of your decisions. 

 

The entire process wasn’t just cathartic for me but for all the people involved. Due to the nature of the topic there were a lot of moving parts, important players in my game, that aren’t mentioned. I’ve kept this journey a secret from so many people because I wanted to learn all I could before I wrote it. Even as I write, I’m not sure what’s going to happen and who’s going to read this. I’m probably screaming into a void but I feel lighter.

 

Liz: Yeah, just be more careful about the way you treat people. Don’t be a cunt really. And good things will happen.

 

Selfish, I know but I promise there’s a stronger force at play here.

 

Me: One thing I’m still unsure about though, what’s the deal with the Devil? You don’t recognise or worship one right? Why the connotations?

 

Liz: It’s not that deep, just looks dope on a T-shirt.

 

Final idea for the shirt