Since we’re for sure best mates now, let’s have a kōrero about drugs, aye? Every week, I talk about the topic and issue we’re discussing as a magazine, with the understanding that I can only understand most of the topics to a certain point. I’ve never once claimed I’m a master of all topics, but I’m also not inexperienced when it comes to things like drugs, alcohol or whatever else I want to drone on about in this small excerpt of my life that I’m letting you in on. If you posed the question, do you do drugs  –  I’m an artist is my answer to that question. I’m never one to sit there and pretend like I’ve never once touched a drug nor can I claim that I’ve let drugs ruin my life. 

But I am an artist.

Creativity, for me, is a means of expressing my inner emotions into that physical realm. I exist solely in the ether and my mahitoi follows that. When you’re a creative person, sometimes there’s vices that help you unlock the inner workings of your brain. For writers, they consume so much coffee that their hearts shouldn’t be beating. For me, as a painter and a writer now (I guess), I’ve never had issues tapping into the furthest recesses of my psyche, until I did. In 2016-17 I hit a block. There was a crossroad for me as I tried to understand who I am as a creative. Enter the world of drugs. If you’re my whānau, please stop reading. In my first editorial I did warn you all that I’m a bit of an unreliable narrator, so I tend to live within my own little world. I’m not going to list off all the drugs I’ve tried, nor give a detailed view into my past with drugs. Though I love an anecdote, this perhaps isn’t the space to tell yous of some of my more fucked personailty points. I’m a better person than yesterday and better one than tomorrow. 


Pulling myself into the world of drug use and understanding limits and where I could and couldn’t go with my body allowed my brain to create works that reflected both my affected mindset but also my mental state. Creating while altered in some way makes for a different artist than before and I’ll tell you this, there’s no going back after that point. Though please understand that I’m not promoting drug use, but rather helping further your understanding as someone who perhaps hasn’t tried drugs or even as someone who wants to explore how drugs will change their mindset. Drugs, drugs and more drugs. 

If you’re reading this and thinking / wondering if I was on drugs while writing this, I get it, and even I’m getting whiplash rereading this. The moral is that drugs aren’t the devil, nor are they a means to an end. Be realistic in your choices but never let yourself fall subject to drugs taking over and destroying your entire life. I want to, once again, reiterate this isn’t me saying that you need to try drugs, just be you and discover what works for you. Go forth.