Top 10 people to replace Simon Bridges

10. Mike Hosking – lesh GO

9. Mark Richardson – he would hit Labour for six 

8. Sir Peter Jackson – LOTR will then be taught in schools

7. Richie Mccaw – quite literally fit for the job 

6. Sir John Key – just want John back :’( 

5. Christopher Luxon – former Air NZ CEO, pretty good man for the job I say

4. Judith Collins – mmm Crusher Collins, she’d be good for it

3. Paula Bennett – yep, she’s as sharp as a stick

2. Neil fucking Wagner – imagine him just bowling bouncers at Cindy all day

1. SBW – The man will probably do anything now that he’s washed up