The quarantine will be remembered for two Netflix series. Both had inbuilt audiences, both had charismatic leading men, both also had the media alleging some weird assassination plot. However, given this is a sports piece we can’t really write on Tiger King because everyone knows the only acceptable answer is Mike Tyson. Instead here are some athletes that could be given the Jordan / Last Dance treatment.
CHRIS CAIRNS
Drugs. Match-fixing, not living up to his father’s expectations. This is either the greatest sporting tale in New Zealand History or how Umbers spent his lockdown.
MEGAN RAPINOE
A lightening road during the Women’s world cup. An anti-trump, LGBT advocate who became a little bigger than the game even though she was immensely talented. Wonder what her teammates thought.
EDDIE IRVINE
Doing a documentary on Schumacher would be weird and anyone who would criticise him would be a monster, so we chose the self-proclaimed second-best driver in the world.
LARRY BIRD
Bird was the prototype for MJ. The Trash talking alone is the stuff of legend. Besides everyone loves a prequel.
IRENE VAN DYKE
Leaving one country to start playing for another nation. The story would ALMOST make listening to a bunch of South African accents worth it.
MATTHEW RIDGE
Sitting out his ARL contract with the Sea Eagles to move to to the Warriors, alleged wife swapping, falling in love on treasure Island and having a relationship with the third most memorable part of True Bliss. It would be honest.
JOHN TERRY
The one thing missing from the Last Dance was a protagonist who was a complete fucking moron. John Terry isn’t Football’s Jordan but he is a guy that fucked his teammates’ wife and got stripped up just to hold a trophy in a game he didn’t even play in.
ELIZA MCCARTNEY
Another entry falling into the “opposite” of last dance. Eliza McCartney is a national treasure and pretty well-liked. Imagine how captivating it is going to be if we learn she has a dark side. It’s like punching a unicorn.
