things to do with your new uni mates

TOP 10

10. Behave sensibly In the Halls of life someone still needs to be Orchard Park

9. Jump through a fold-out table Because why would wrestling lie to you?

8. Literally anything except burn a couch They do it in Dunedin because they are godless heathens who just discovered fire but have manufactured P for millennia

7. Call your parents and tell them you love them The exact ratio is three I love yous to one send money/post bail request

6. Call your ex Reasons don’t exist here

5. Tandem on a Lime Scooter Points for re-creating the ‘King of the world’ scene from Titanic or anything from Brokeback Mountain

4. Go to Mako Road @ The Factory!

3. Spark up conversations with randoms in Subway after town Most are either Arts students or homeless junkies who graduated from the Law School

2. Take your clothes off and moo like a cow Worst case scenario someone offers you grass, best case scenario someone milks you

1. Shoulder charge a portaloo


Harry Malcolm


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