Everyone sucks. Everything sucks. Life is the worst because I share this planet with complete idiots and the world for some reason doesn’t seem to revolve around me.  

Segues are hard. 

The point I was clearly not making any attempt to frame previously is that I managed to fix EVERYTHING in my life. I mean LITERALLY everything. I’m talking mental health, physical health, social life, love life, you name it – I FIXED IT. And I want everyone (well, almost everyone – not the exes who cheated on me, or my high school bullies, or that one lady who was mean to me that one time) to feel the joy of finally feeling like you have A LIFE.  

Are we ready to sort ourselves out? Good.   

Marie Kondo (my idol) published her book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and it doesn’t just apply to organising your bedroom. Kondo asks, “Does this spark joy?” in order for you to decide whether you’d like to keep something in your life. A tissue? Doesn’t spark joy. Chuck it. Your phone? Sparks joy. Keep it. You get the gist.  

But what if we applied this method to something bigger? Do the people around you spark joy? Does your daily routine spark joy? Do YOU spark joy? 

When I realised that my answer all of the above was a big fat “NO”, I knew I had to switch it up. 

The people around me DID NOT spark joy. So, I Marie Kondo’d my social life. I reduced it down from a chaotic mess of people who make me feel like shit, to only having the essential people who make me happy. Quality over quantity. 

I figured out the traits I valued in my relationships (empathy, passion, loyalty, honesty) and prioritised the people who had these qualities. If I genuinely felt happy to see them, then they could stay. 

How did I know who to axe? I was quite brutal and saw no reason why I shouldn’t go “too far”. Any disrespect towards me was closure enough. They did/said something kind of mean? Gone. I didn’t have to notify them. I just keep them at a distance, never bothering to reach out again.  

Am I lonely? Sometimes. But at least I know that I don’t have any dumpster fire excuses for human beings polluting my day-to-day life anymore. I love the people I’ve kept in my life, and there they will remain. Protecting my peace was the best decision I ever made. 

My daily routine DEFINITELY did not spark joy. This is a huge problem, because how you spend your days is how you spend your life! Everyday I’d wake up and all the things I’d have to do made me feel a mixture of boredom, stress, and tediousness, and it all just prevented me from being happy. I don’t want to be miserable.  

I decided that the only way I could make all the mini stressors in my life tolerable would be to make them obnoxiously fun! Tidying my room? Set a timer or start an episode of a favourite show – try and finish my tasks before it ends! Making dinner? I am now hosting my own cooking show and Gordon Ramsey is OBSESSED with my skills. Studying? Skyrim music in the background gets it done quicker – it’s a puzzle quest! I’m in a catacomb!  

I realised that I couldn’t just make the dull moments fun, because that’s going to get exhausting. So, I decided that I should also add some elements into my daily life that sparked joy just by themselves. I made an active attempt to set aside time for video games, doom scrolling (I know it’s ‘bad’, but it makes me so happy), sewing, crocheting (actually, just all my craft stuff. Paints, clay… I have too many hobbies) etc. With all these little things added into my daily routine, I finally had something to look forward to! 

Finally… I regret admitting it, but I DID NOT SPARK JOY. I don’t mean from the perspective of others (they don’t have to be around me every day, so why should I care about those opinions?), I simply mean that I didn’t like being me. (I love me now. I’m so amazing. And I also love younger me, even if she didn’t really like herself that much.) 

I had to improve my life by changing the way I viewed myself. Throughout high school (and for the first half of uni) my self-esteem was so low that it might as well have been buried next to the core of the earth (translation for all y’all flat earthers out there: it was thrown off the side). 

The most effective way I remedied my issue of self-loathing was to engage in positive self-talk. I don’t mean the whole “I’m doing a good job” or “It’s okay to have big feelings” rubbish. Instead, I switched everything up by forcing myself to be my own biggest fan. To an obnoxious degree. Did it feel narcissistic? Kinda! Do I particularly care? Nope! 

Everything I ever did was immediately an inspiration point for me to fangirl about myself. It felt super awkward at first, but I discovered that if I start out with sarcasm, then eventually it feels genuine, and that’s when you start believing what you say about yourself. If I trip over? I am the EPITOME of grace and beauty. I don’t like this situation I’m in? I am simply too pretty to deal with this. Fucked up an assignment (to an impressive standard)? My knowledge is CLEARLY too extensive for the tutor to understand what I’m on about. (Obviously, if I do something detrimentally wrong, I will take accountability, and YOU SHOULD TOO!) 

Believing that I’m smart, beautiful, funny, talented, gifted, stunning, amazing, etc, etc, might not be true to the honest portrayal of myself. However, saying it out loud when it’s clearly the wrong situation is exactly the kind of humour I’ve always clicked with. And even if I do mess up (as I usually do), telling myself that I’m all these things is a little reminder that maybe one day I will eventually recognise that I can love myself regardless.  

The great thing about being human is that we’re sentient beings. WE CAN CHOOSE WHAT WE DO! I purposely chose things that sparked joy. If I am to ever face another situation that I can’t change, or I have to battle with some huge life stressor that probably won’t go away, I know that I have the security of all the things left that spark joy. My friends, my daily doses of happiness, and myself. These are all things that I love.  

We love adding some delulu into our lives. I highly recommend it.