With the urban sprawl of Kirikiriroa threatening to swallow Cambridge and tickle the taint of South Auckland, we thought we’d take a look at the vibrant cultures and hidden treasures of our home: the mighty Waikato. Just don’t try to move to any of these places, cos you’ll never be able to afford a house – even in Ōtorohanga. Unless your life is on easy mode and you have rich parents.

 

Tokanui Psychiatric Hospital demolition

Waikato’s creepiest abandoned place to explore (which you definitely can’t access through the metal gate on Te Mawhai Road) is finally set to be torn down and replaced with another Sleepyhead Town, or something. Operating since 1912, the psychiatric hospital near Te Awamutu saw thousands of patients receive ‘treatment,’ and hundreds more buried in unmarked mass graves on the site. Definitely don’t go exploring there at night. And definitely don’t bring a torch, or an asbestos mask. 

 

Koi Carp for sale at Pak’n’save

For this week’s tasty dinner treat, you can thank none other than the late Joseph Stewart Smith, who almost single-handedly introduced pest fish into our waterways over the 20th century. You can knock the profound damage done to our waterways, but you can’t knock a delicious protein source from a fish who makes its living by sucking literal shit off the ocean floor like some sort of demented vacuum. 

 

Balloons Over Waikato (home edition)

Waikato’s favourite event to put on a postcard and use as banner images on their website has been scaled all the way back this year. You aren’t even going to be able to see a wonky rendition of ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ while you eat a $13 glizzy and watch hot air balloons catch on fire. You will, however, be able to see them from home.. Maybe. Depends on where you live, I guess. 

 

Waikato Bat Alliance 

Like the most boring Avengers team ever assembled, a bunch of Council and community groups have come together to protect the reigning Bird of the Year – the Pekapeka-tou-roa, or the New Zealand long-tailed bat. We aren’t sure how exactly the newly formed Waikato Bat Alliance will protect the bats, but we’re hoping it involves a 24/7 security detail, and some sort of leather uniform.