Shake Out

Aggressively advertising to students doesn’t always work, but when it does, you get Shake Out (and when it doesn’t, you get Breakers). Cheap, great burgers, chips, shakes, and minimal human contact – what’s not to like? 

 

Greenworld Fruit and Vegetables

Eat a fucking carrot, for God’s sake. When’s the last time you had any fibre in your diet? You ever heard of scurvy? For $10, you could probably set yourself up to start a market garden. Get a banana or some apples or something.

 

Four Square Hillcrest

In addition to their range of regular, everyday dairy type shit, their Chicken and Chips are allegedly fantastic. Alternatively, you could pool your $10 with a few friends and buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke those instead of eating. It works for David Lynch, right?

 

Your own house, for a nap

Everyone knows that the cheapest dinner is sleep. Hopefully by the time you wake up, you’ll feel too groggy and sick to eat anyway. And honestly, going into debt for kai is so 2008, fuck it. 

 

Brocas Ave Pātaka Kai

If even $10 is a bit of a stretch, go grab yourself some free kai from the food pantry down on Brocas Ave. Generally always has your staples like bread, vegetables, and the occasional Feijoa when it’s in season. 

 

Kisso Sushi

If you’re one of those people who only eat chicken teriyaki sushi, grow the fuck up. Or, at least get it somewhere cheaper than St. Pierre’s. You’re a broke uni student, be smart.

 

Domino’s Pizza

Five dollars will get you a large pizza. Case closed.

 

Halls of Residence Dining

If you’re living in halls, go to lunch and dinner. Sure, you’re paying for halls, but technically you’re saving money if you actually eat the food you’re paying for instead of going out, wasting gas, and wasting more money. Just make sure you grab extra sachets of salt and pepper for every meal…

 

Flat Parties

If you manage to sneak your way into a flat party, look for the snack table. I guarantee everyone will be too drunk to notice. However, we do not condone theft, so don’t steal other people’s drinks or go through the kitchen looking for food if there’s no snack table. On your way out, remember to take a look in a mirror and say hi to the dumbass who can’t get actual invites to flat parties.

 

Vending Machines Around Campus

Total rip-off. Five bucks for one chocolate? Yeah nah. But, it’ll definitely keep you sane for at least an hour.