Aries

Drink a cup of water. Remember, WATER, not an energy drink. 

Taurus

Happy Birth Month! Hope y’all grow taller. 

Gemini

Stop telling your girlfriend’s mom “I know where she got her beauty from”. It’s not funny. It screams mommy issues.

Cancer

How’s that partner of yours doing? Are they being manipulated yet?

Leo

It is what it is. Stop lying to yourself, you’re doing okay. It’s fine being vulnerable. 

Virgo

Y’all can never date anyone out of your own birth chart. Self-obsession much? Perfectionist much? 

Libra

Your bank account balance is not balancing. Get that scale of yours out and practise some self-control. 

Scorpio

Go get an ultrasound because you’re pregnant. All your friends want a uni baby.

Sagittarius

Anime recommendation: Skip and Loafer. Remind yourself of the people pleaser you are.

Capricorn

It’s due for a haircut. Do something fun and be bold this time.

Aquarius

When will you let the other person win an argument? Deep down you know they are right. 

Pisces

Girl, let your friend get the compliment they deserve. Not everything is about you.