It’s November 19th. 

Oh, you didn’t think there really was one? Well there is, and let me tell you a little bit about it. Appeals for an International Men’s Day started around the 1960s. It was established properly in 1992, and again in 1999. According to InternationalMensDay.nz, the day aims to promote positive male role models, celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, and highlights discrimination against males. Oh, and it’s one of the most Google searched things on March 8th, AKA International Women’s Day. One of those Google searches this year was from yours truly, as once again, I was asked by a poor oppressed white man, ‘but when is International MEN’S Day?’.

So I got to start off my day angrily; hunched over my phone, passive aggressively typing in a Facebook comment section, seething into my morning coffee. And after explaining to my male friend that he did in fact have a day of his very own, and that International Women’s Day aimed to celebrate and encourage equal rights and respect for women everywhere, I was replied to with ‘thank you Sarah, and I hope that men can also enjoy the encouragement and respect as well as equal rights that you speak of. Have a great day’. I didn’t have a great day after that; I had an annoyed day. A pissed-off, complaining-to-every-female-friend-I-have day. 

Because it’s so shitty, isn’t it? It’s a bit like when you were a kid, and your brother got an ice cream while he was at the shop with mum, so she brought you one home. And because he had already eaten his ice cream and didn’t currently have one at that very point in time, he threw a tantrum about your having an ice cream being unfair. Makes sense when a kid does it; not so much a fully grown man. Why is it only when women are given something, that these men begin to whine about not having it as well, even when they already have it? If they really cared about having an International Men’s Day, you’d think they would be Googling it the other 364 days of the year, wouldn’t you? But no, only on the one day that isn’t celebrating them, do they decide to have a moan. 

And I say the one day, because if I’m being honest, doesn’t every other day celebrate men? Do we not see the celebration of men constantly in movies, in leadership roles, in history books, and in news stories? Let’s take the Bechdel test as an example. If you’re not familiar with this test, it’s a sort of feminist rule for movies that states that a movie must A) have at least two named female characters who B) have a conversation about C) something other than a man. It may seem like a simple enough rule, but there really aren’t that many big movies that pass it. Several big movies from last year did not, including Free Guy, The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, and Love Hard. I’m sure you can think of more classic and famous movies that fail the test. 

So I guess I could just say, ‘there IS an International Men’s Day, end of argument!’, but that’s not really what I want to say. I want to say, let us have one day to ourselves. I want to say, why do you feel the need to make every little thing about you? Hasn’t history given you enough already? Look, I’m not oblivious. I know that there are real men’s issues involving mental health and suicide rates, among other things. But if the one time you bring up International Men’s Day is on International Women’s Day, be honest with yourself: do you really care about having a day for men, or do you just want to speak over women on the one day that is dedicated to them? 

I felt cheated out of my International Women’s Day this year, the very same way I have in so many of the years before. Misogyny exhausts me and so many other women all year round, and I look forward to March 8th. But every year on the day, I just end up feeling more angry than I usually do. From the boring sexist jokes that were always told on the day in high school (‘happy dishwasher’s day, haw haw’) to the complaints from grown men that I hear now, it always seems to be a shit day on March 8th. I want women to be able to reclaim the day for ourselves, but we can’t do that until certain men let us have the day that we deserve.