“Early morning + lectures = D’s—the other kind of d…”

 

A new study in Singapore showed students performed worse when lectures/school start at 8am. Teenagers’ (the annoying scumbags who think they’re cool after getting 30 likes on Instagram) sleeping patterns shift during puberty, and so do other things. And yet somehow, these imbeciles are being prioritised; now, a 9:45 start to school is recommended! Wtf about us? Does this ring a bell UoW? Y’all hear this? Cancel my 8 and 9 AM classes. I don’t want that kind of a D. 

  

“Nepo baby (Bieber wife) a living joker”

 

26 but still needs her husband’s ex to keep her relevant on social media, Hai-low has lowered her non-existing standards once again. Apart from being besties with women her husband has explored on various occasions before, the ‘model’ is a natural bully. An old video surfaces on the internet where Bieber’s wife trolls a successful and self-made woman, causing Selena Gomez to really say, ‘it ain’t me’. 

 

‘Net-flex can no longer flex”

 

The ‘Wednesday’ cast’s photos as the new profile icon isn’t enough to keep users from cancelling their Netflix subscription. The downfall of the company’s ‘strategy’ has stirred the news a lil, with the stock falling 5%. Turns out, people don’t want to pay extra to watch ‘Love is Blind’. Besides, Stranger Things isn’t out anytime soon. For those that like it. For those. 

 

“Titanic dude with a 21 yr old. Again”

 

Leonardo DiCaprio- who is actually a Scorpio- spotted with a 21 year old. Partying. If he was younger, I’d love to be delusional and say ‘I had a chance’ as a fellow 02’ kid. But what can I say, the model is stuck in the 90s vision. Someone pass her my lens cleaner. She has 4 years left though, so ain’t too bad, I guess, eh. 

 

“Brent Rivera is finally getting cancelled?”

 

The lad who inspired our PM to endorse “spread your legs” by making his sister spread her legs as they go down the escalator said some shitty stuff recently. The cringy YouTuber with the most basic ass hairstyle makes fun of another YouTuber over using an iPhone for recording videos. Yeah, the same Brent Rivera- who could endorse Viagra with that surname- is still friends with a girl that called him out on his failed bedroom techniques. Him. Yeah, he had the audacity.