Sure, mainstream news has all the gore, glitz and glamour that the public lusts for so strongly – but where else are you going to find stories of everyday citizens standing up to the big man (New Zealand Food Safety) and standing up for what they believe in (selling unsafe food products)? And just where else are you going to read about men from Tokoroa falling out of trees? I guess you could just go and read every single small town newspaper like I do. But you won’t. You’ll keep crawling back to Nexus like you always do.

A peat fire in Whatawhata has been blanketing residents with smoke and fog for the last few weeks. Peat fires happen when partially decayed plant material on or under the soil gets ignited, and can burn for years underground without being detected. Our very own Professor Dave Campbell from Waikato University told Stuff that the fire was part of a much larger issue in the Waikato, saying ‘all 80,000 hectares of drained peatland in the Waikato is on a slow burn.. Really, [peat fires are] happening all the time.’ While we don’t know yet how the fire started, Fire and Emergency had recently warned local residents against lighting fires on their properties due to incredibly dry conditions over the summer. Whoops, lol!

A Manakau couple in their 70s have been busted selling raw milk in a nationwide sting by the Ministry for Primary Industries. A 2019 operation which saw an undercover agent purchase the illegal milk led to a $30,000 fine for the elderly pair, who were allegedly using a loophole in the laws to slang their nasty cow juice. For those unfamiliar with gross shit, ‘raw’ milk is cow titty juice that hasn’t been pasteurised (meaning, heated to a certain temperature to kill bacteria and disease), and drinkers claim it’s better for you even though the only research around raw milk concludes that you definitely shouldn’t drink it. During MPI’s raid on the raw milk trap house, criminal Phillippa Martin told NZ Herald that ‘they went through our trash [and] confiscated our computers and hard drive.’ Her husband was quoted saying ‘I am not ashamed of anything I’ve done.. My conscience is clear.’

The debate about Te Awamutu’s controversial proposed rubbish incineration plant burns on as residents try to prevent 23 tonnes of daily ash being added to the atmosphere. While construction company Global Contracting Solutions say the opposition group’s claims are ‘scandalous,’ environmental groups worry the so-called ‘waste to energy’ plant will be a ‘toxic nightmare.’ Talking to the Te Awamutu Courier, a spokesperson for the capitalist corporation GCS pushed back against claims from Zero Waste Network Aotearoa that the plant would heavily damage the surrounding environment – but when asked by Nexus to cite their sources, they chose not to reply to our emails. Councils often pay third party companies to deal with their region’s trash, and the waste industry is an incredibly profitable hustle, with international projections valuing the industry at almost $4 trillion NZD.

Also, duck shooting season is underway. Much like our friends the koi fish and the possum, mallard ducks were introduced in to Aotearoa in the 1870s, and thanks to their rapid breeding schedule are now the most common waterfowl in the country. Duck shooting has become somewhat of a colonial pastime in New Zealand, with hunting licensing body Fish & Game estimating around half a million of them get absolutely blasted to death each year. Some people claim to eat the deceased ducks, and others still claim that they’re culling the birds to keep the numbers down, but I think some dudes just loooooooove the feeling of just fucken slaughtering small defenseless animals. In saying that, I’m not a big fan of ducks anyway so go wild, you bloodthirsty psychos.