THIS VS THAT

VAPE NATION

Where do I start? There are so many aspects about vaping which trump that of smoking a filthy, horrible lung dart. First off, fuuuck paying $35 for a packet of 20 one time use cancer sticks. The only people who can justify paying that much to ruin their respiratory system clearly have more money than sense, those who don’t are just deteriorating their bank account and health while at the same time looking like a homeless Gandalf with no self-respect. The part where vaping trumps here is that even though it may not be amazing for your lungs, but my goodness does it save you on the coin side of things. A bottle of juice will last you weeks and will rarely cost you more than $30 a pop. Don’t even get me started on the fat clouds that these bad boys blow, whether it be attempting to hotbox a room, filling an object with smoke, or just straight up ripping the phattest clouds, it never gets old. Unlike you, quickly, when you smoke durries.

You can also have many a drag on these nicotine machines inside your home as much as you want and it won’t end up making your house smell like an industrial estate in Shanghai. Instead of that, you can make it smell like grapes, watermelon, oranges, whatever you imagine there is probably a flavour for it. Lastly, I would have to say the best part about vaping is the headspins, one decent drag on the right nicotine concentration and you’ll be a vegetable on the couch for at least 10 minutes versus a dart giving you a small headspin and making you smell until you shower. Fuck that’s rank. So, put that dart out and put on some deodorant, you fucking loser, pick up a vape and get those headies going.

DURRY FEIND

Vaping, the second V plate in your life. Now, I don’t want to stereotype but the majority of Nexus editors smoke cigarettes and the IT guy in the office who paints Dungeon and Dragons figurines, vapes. In truth, the majority of people who vape have never smoked a cigarette in their life – it tastes gross apparently. Yeah, like we’re out here smoking because it tastes great. Fuck no, it’s because the nicotine flowing through our veins provides the king of all head spins and trumps vaping with every inhale. Sure, you can vape inside at your mate’s flat party and in the pub but that’s exactly why I smoke, to get away from you pussies. Ever had someone ask you for a lighter, of course you have. 

How many times has someone asked if you have a spare USB charger or juice for a vape? Never, because I don’t paint Dungeons and Dragons figurines in my spare time. People who vape still use Lynx Africa and drink Monster Energy. Smoking just fuckin’ looks cooler – I’ve seen so many chicks pull out their vape in the Outback Inn and there is no doubt in my mind that their vape has no nicotine in it and they wouldn’t dare smoke a cigarette because it’s “literally ew” and they “can’t even”. If we’re being high and mighty and researching this shit, as of February, a total of 2,807 e-cigarette or vaping associated lung injury cases or deaths have been reported to the Centres for Disease Control. And if your argument is you vape because it makes big clouds, so does a smoke machine and you look like a fuckwit carrying one of those around too.