The University isn’t cleaning our ponds! From the start of the trimester, the students’ beloved ponds located by the Village Green and Gate 2A filled with an oil-like substance. Students report that the pond’s appearance looks “icky” and “overcast, like 3 month old bong water”. 

 

Most alumni consider the ponds to be in the worst condition they’ve ever seen. The water quality has been a concern not only from students or alumni, but for Hamiltonian residents who pass through on their morning walks. Certainly this tells us that the management of the University ponds needs to be taken more seriously. 

 

It is seldom that Nexus gets to investigate further by walking up to Vice Chancellor Neil Quigley’s doors. Given this column is written the day before print day, Nexus did not have the chance to question Quigley. So we can only assume that he will swallow his pride and take up the position of head groundskeeper. 

 

Many professors agree with this claim. It appears the University is deconstructing the hierarchy starting with Quigley’s position in power. 

 

Alan Baunchmay, a previous student, mailed to say “This is an extremely disappointing and an embarrassing front for the University. The ponds would make for a fine kayaking expedition and I am let down.”

 

This pond problem correlates with struggling students’ grades. The University of Waikato dropped 100 places in the global ranks last year. This year is no different, with the global ranking still sitting at 375th. 

 

The Village Green once was a place of leisure, students were able to gaze across the pond between lectures. What is it now? A wasteland, shadowy and rubbish-strewn. 

 

To improve the quality of the University ponds please email the editor and offer solutions. 

 

editor@nexusmag.co.nz