COOKING FOR THE FLAT

Food. Now that’s a topic I’m passionate about. And food I don’t have to put in effort to prepare? That’s even better. Cooking for the flat, and therefore having the flat cook for you in turn, is arguably the best trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. Sure, one night a week you need to put in the grunt work, but every other night of the week you can sit in peace while your flatties slave away for you instead.

Whether it’s a busy time of the semester, or you simply don’t have the energy to cook for yourself, having the weight taken off you several nights of the week is a bloody gift. Even better, is the fact that this system means that you will get to taste a variety of cuisines – provided your flat mates aren’t pieces of shit who cook the same bulk nachos at 8pm every Sunday night. If you’re not that unlucky, then cooking with the flat creates a round robin of (debatably) delicious and different meals for you to try and prevents you from eating the same microwavable rice mix every night.

On top of this, if you like each other enough, you can even create a wholesome routine of sitting down for dinner together to have some nice dinner-time chat or watch a flat show. It’s a great time to debrief from your shit lectures or weekend
antics and gets you out of your dark room for at least 15 minutes a day.

Having to cook for yourself every night is an undeniable tax. Pair that with the pure admin that is supermarket shopping and you’ve got yourself a recipe for just opting for takeout every other night. Now that’s a sure-fire ticket to only having two cents in your bank account by the end of the week and becoming known as the mate who’s always “too poor” to order the Uber.

You never want to be that mate – instead be the (flat) mate who whips up a mean meal for your flatties every week, earning so many brownie points that they end up happily shouting you the Uber on the weekend anyway.

COOKING FOR YOURSELF

Recently I heard a tragic story from a friend. It was Sunday night, the plan was set in motion, homemade pizza and flat hangs! Said friend, being the well balanced woman that she is, decided to dedicate the day to an epic, yet grueling sweat session, quote, “do the mahi, get the treats” or something like that. Arriving home at 6:30pm, tired and hungry, but elated, she entered the hallway. Pausing for a minute she lifted her sniffer to the ceiling. Expecting to be greeted by beefy aromas associated with deliciousness, high cholesterol and clogged arteries, she was instead confronted with the scent of…
Thai fucking Green Curry (vegetarian too), for the third time that week. A soul destroying affair to say the least and not at all what was agreed upon nor desired. Pizza was not on the table and given she was now pissed and severely disappointed, neither were flat hangs.

Cooking for yourself is the way to go. It’s true, a significant other could break your heart, but not in the way a flatmate can when changing a dinner plan you were really excited for. Avoid the trauma and cook for yourself. There are probably enough things that annoy you about your flatmates anyway, without adding a dish you don’t want to the mix.

Making your own meals is great for a number of reasons. One, you can flex your culinary skills with no tight flat food budget limitations. The Instagram community of followers you have accumulated can sing your praises as they drool over the 5 star creation you’ve posted to your story. Never mind the fact that it blew your food budget for the next seven days so you’ll be eating Weetbix for the duration of the week.

Alternatively if you’re as shit at cooking as Gordan Ramsey is at not dropping an F bomb every five seconds, and have opted to chef for your solo self, you’re safe. Nobody is entitled to try your food, so no one can roast you for it. Roast veggies, not flatmates am I right?

Let us not forget how good it is to smash back a huge munch any time of the day (or night) without having to schedule in specific communal meal time windows. If you want scheduled communal meal times you should probably just go back to College Hall… Adulthood is cooking for yourself.