Phoenix Who?

Unless you couldn’t give less of a shit about sports in Aotearoa, you should know about the Auckland FC vs Wellington Phoenix game on the 22nd of February. If you are on the “football is the only sport” end of the “give a fuck” to “YEAH SPORTS!!!” spectrum you would know this game was wild. If you need catching up, here is my experience watching the game in Go Media Stadium:

I am what I call a “football daughter”. My dad loves the game and as his offspring, I support his team of choice via association. In the case of the A-League Men’s, I therefore support Auckland FC.

After consuming three overpriced Pepsi Max’s, the game began. Early in it was prevalent the ref was a big fan of the Phoenix. Those of you who think football is about rolling on the floor pretending to be injured, do not watch Phoenix, ever. The Ref was giving away free kicks like it was going out of fashion. However, none of these free kicks created opportunities for Phoenix. I assumed that because of their free kick accruing abilities, they’d use them much better, alas.

AFC did not let Phoenix’s master manipulating skills stop them from having many, many shots on target and by halftime we were up 3-0. But crisis struck soon after the whistle blew for the second half as Phoenix scored. No need to worry, AFC continued to widen the gap with a beautiful three more goals. I was sat in front of a very drunk and very Scottish man who had many anecdotes throughout the game, my favourite of which being the chant he started, “training game for AFC”. And he was 100% right, it felt as though AFC were planning the 3rd XI, not the renowned Phoenix A-League team.

As we left the stadium a little boy was excitedly talking to his dad saying, and I quote, “Once we start scoring, we just do not stop”. He continued “New Zealand is blue!” Amen little bro, you would not be more correct.

In 1950, the very first Formula one world championship was held and as such in 2025 we celebrate 75 years of the pinnacle of motorsport (aka, cars going vroom vroom). So of course, F1 wanted to do something special for its 75th season and hosted a massive event where all 10 Teams revealed their 2025 liveries… but oh, it was so much more than that.

The British bias was strong in London’s O2 arena with deafening applause for Lewis Hamilton’s first adventure in red and pantomime booing which greeted the now four-time world champion Max Verstappen. Verstappen, as expected, could not give less of a shit about this whole circus and probably went home straight after he walked off stage. The Dutchman just wants to race, guys.

Yes, this was Hamilton’s first appearance with Ferrari after his 12 legendary years with Mercedes. With seven drivers’ championships under his belt, Hamilton is on the hunt for his eighth to truly solidify himself as the greatest of all time. Here’s hoping “this year is our year” and Ferrari can provide a car that can give Hamilton a fighting chance…

The FIA got a definitive fan response to their recent bullshit with incredible boos at their first (and only) mention. Now, I ask you, who is the best possible celebrity to ask about the FIA’s recent and very controversial swearing ban? If you said Gordon Ramsay, you would be as brilliant as whichever producer came up with that in the first place. When asked to speak on it, Ramsay, unsurprisingly expressed passionate distaste for the ban on live TV, and advocated for drivers to be able to speak freely since they’re under immense pressure, actively risking their lives driving over 350 km/h.

Iconic behavior Mr. Ramsay, thank you for your service.

Formula One: The Musical! (I mean, F1 75)

IS THIS A SPORT?

Is Tuna Toss a Sport?

Debuting in 1979, “Tuna Toss” has been a popular event in South Australia to celebrate the local fishing industry. The competition is exactly as the title suggest, contestants attempt to throw a 9-10kg frozen tuna the furthest. The current record is held by Olympian Sean Carlin who threw the tuna 37.23m. And, this competition is outstandingly ethical, they only throw undersized fish who died of natural causes.

So, is this a sport? Competitors have used different throwing techniques similar to Olympic events. Such as the Hammer Throw, which was used by Carlin to achieve the record distance. Therefore, I would call tuna tossing a sport.

SPORTS CRUSH OF THE WEEK

Stefanos Tsitsipas

Dubai Tennis Championships has been running the past couple weeks. And after researching for 2 minutes, I found the heartthrob of the tournament. I would acquaint Stefanos Tsitsipas to the tennis version of a young Orlando Bloom. If you couldn’t tell from his last name, Tsitsipas a Greek tennis player. Tsitsipas is due to play in the quarter finals tomorrow. After turning pro at age 18, at his best, he was ranked 3rd in the world. Tsitsipas currently is ranked 11th. Though he isn’t favoured to win the Dubai tournament, he’s highly favoured to advance to the semis.