The last time you read an editorial of mine I was out as a gay man. Now, I’m bi. What changed? Well, a lot really.
It’s funny because people who have been in my life since high school weren’t really surprised by the change – like Ruby – because it was my third time coming out, lol. I was straight (by default) ’til halfway through high school, where I came out as bi. I dated a guy for 8 months then had some anticlimactic experiences with women (literally and figuratively) later in high school. It was kinda convenient coming out as gay, most people treated me as though I was anyway, and it made sense at the time; the vast majority of my experiences were with guys. So, I was out as gay for a few years.
From the end of high school till late last year my dating life was Grindr and poppers. And boy was it fun. It wasn’t until I started crushing on a close friend of mine that I thought maybe I got it right the first time, maybe I actually am bi. My feelings for her grew until I said fuck it and told her I was bi. We started talking the next day and now we’ve been dating for six months so it’s fair to say that worked out quite well. It was pretty funny not just telling people that I was bi now, but oh yeah, I have a gf too.
This shit is complicated. Like I was convinced I was straight while I’d already been with dudes, then convinced I was gay because shit worked out with dudes but never really women. For what it’s worth I feel like being so many different sexualities has really got me in the club with an anthropologic lens and sociological imagination. Like, I’ve been one of the lads, the gay best friend, and with both men and women. Which has taught me a lot about people.
Whether sexuality can change through someone’s life or we just embrace different parts of ourselves over time is a question I don’t know the answer to. But maybe it’s both?
So yeah, sexuality can be fluid… duude.
