How to hack nexus and blow up the servers? 

Honestly, most of the staff don’t have as much energy as is required to get through the day. Give them a coffee or an energy drink and you’ll quite possibly get pointed in the right direction with no need to put that much effort into it. Try with caution; I speak for nobody. 

What if I wanna pass away since I am not confident in passing this semester? 

Babes, funerals are expensive. I know getting an education costs a lot of money too, but at least you get a piece of paper saying you achieved something in the end. Then you get to go out into the world and do whatever the fuck you want. Can’t do that if you’ve passed away. 

How do I sneak into the student village dining hall? 

Hate to break it to you, but they’ve recently implemented a system where only student village residents can scan in for food. The chefs have the beadiest eyes, seriously, it’s kind of scary. Make a friend with access and get them to smuggle food out in their pockets.  

How can I schedule a fkn pitch meeting? 

Option 1: Hire somebody else to do it for you and make it their problem. 

Option 2: Give up and accept there will always be someone who can’t make it, and they’re very sorry that they can’t, but there’s nothing they can do about it. Seriously, they hate it as much as you do. And I totally don’t know this person. 

How do I tell her I don’t know how to do a backflip? 

Not knowing how to do something is a mindset.  

How do you deal with fake bitches? 

Realise that life is so much bigger than one group of friends who don’t make you happy, and go find your true people that will actually appreciate you. They’re out there somewhere, promise.