Not Newsmaker of the week: Chappell Roan:
Babes, I think your time as a popular artist has well and truly expired. The more you treat your fans like shit, the less likely they are to support you. Just calm the fuck down, and appreciate them for making you rich.
Max Verstappen wins at the Nurburgring, gets a post-race DSQ:
Genuinely devastating. This is NOT Max’s year and I am getting more and more distressed about it the longer this drags on. Red Bull, please fix your car over the break or you will be paying for my therapy bill. #redbullisthenewferrari
Iran vows to send the price of fuel soaring:
Can everybody just agree to disagree and stop this war thing, or at least work out a way to protect our petrol supply? I’m going to have to drink the bottle of Jack Daniel’s I have on my shelf instead of going into town, and that hurts a little bit.
Strong 50 hour storm set to hit North Island:
Awesome. Good to know that the torrential rain and wind we had in January and February wasn’t enough, so we get to be treated to even more horrible weather. Just hoping it comes in the April break period so we can just hibernate through it.
