Recipe: The Hangxiety Cure, aka. gruel 

Playlist: 

Whatever depresses you extensively. I like Strangers by Ethel Cain, Motion Picture Soundtrack by Radiohead, and D>E>A>T>H>M>E>T>A>L by Panchiko, but anything goes.  

You will need:  

• Rolled oats 

• Water 

• A vape (better if it’s kinda gross) 

• Any variety of Red bull (room temperature and half-finished from the day before) 

Instructions: 

• Pull yourself out of bed, put on a hoodie, and gather a cup of rolled oats into a mug. 

• Add cold water if you feel miserable, or hot if you want this to be less disgusting. Just enough to barely cover the oats as they will soak it up 

• Get a teaspoon and eat this gruel really slowly whilst vaping in the kitchen and scrolling Instagram reels.  

• Sip on room temperature red bull as required. 

• Repeat as needed. 

• Side note, this recipe works better if you regret your actions from the night before. If you’re fine with what you did then I don’t suggest this meal as it will depress you heavily.