An Ode to All the Stuff I’ve Lost to the Void:
“Heart of darkness
Devoid of mind
Desperation imminent
Give me my fucking stuff back.”
If I tell you I am a chronic loser of stuff, no one would be surprised. Constantly having tabs on where everything in your life is seems to be a gift blessed to some but not others, others including me. The other day I lost my phone only to find it wedged between two seats in the lecture hall a couple of hours later. After being thankful I managed to find it that easily, I then proceeded to leave my laptop in its case on the bus two days later, and it is currently taking a trip around the Waikato as I am writing this. Fortunately, I was at least able to retain peace of mind via the find my device app (not sponsored), the holy grail of apps for scatterbrains. Unfortunately, though, this only works for devices or objects that you have forked over 50 dollars to place an airtag/equivalent tracker on. This is why I somewhat seriously propose that all objects, especially those of value, come with a built-in tracking device. Can’t find your wallet? You can track it now. Lost your textbook? Track it. Lost your mind? Yeah, sorry, probably can’t help with that one. There is an untapped niche out there, and someone could become very rich supplying companies with tracking devices for their products, as long as they don’t do it before I can patent and extort this idea for royalties.
While I’m ahead of the curve (to be clear, we’re ignoring airtags because my idea is better), allow me to make my sales pitch. Below is a non-exhaustive list of both the pros and cons of this product idea.
Pros:
Helps people find stuff they would usually struggle to find
Don’t have to go out and buy an air tag separately
Can be placed on things that would usually be difficult to place an air tag on
Not necessarily tied to one company, tracking app would be universal or dta would be transferable
Cons:
Price of products may go up as tracking cost would be included
Tech companies might be angy 😢 (I’m ok with that)
As you can see there is a mix of pros and cons, but for those of us who not only forget where they have left their things but also forget that they were meant to go out and do something, it is beneficial to have the tracking device and cost already attached to the initial product itself. Listen, is this product idea completely practical logistics wise? No, probably not. But when it comes to the idea of solving problems, I believe in go big or go home. If you are someone that spends countless paychecks replacing items that you continuously use, perhaps there may be some merit in spending more initially to save on replacements later. At least maybe in an imaginary world where the economy hasn’t been blown to smithereens.
