Aries: The LGBTQ dating pool might be almost completely dead, but don’t give into becoming straight just because it’s easier, being queer is way cooler.
Taurus: I would like to lie to you, but unfortunately everyone can tell you were homeschooled. I’m sorry. It never wears off.
Gemini: Being a photographer is not a feasible career. You knew this when you took art in high school, and that marketing degree isn’t going to make you any more employable as someone who takes photos.
Cancer: Rotting in your room with your blinds closed all day is not a good way to get over a migraine. I know the dark helps, but you’re not getting over it any faster if you don’t get up and do something.
Leo: Scrolling Pinterest in class is not irresponsible at all. At least you’re there. Maybe the doomscroll will help you absorb the knowledge just by listening.
Virgo: I admire your dedication to the snap streak, but it is really not that deep. We can talk in person. I don’t care about what’s on your lecture board right now.
Libra: You don’t need to become a therapist. You need therapy yourself. Please seek help, or at least delete MyFitnessPal from your phone. We’ve all been down that path and the end is not good.
Scorpio: George Russell is not going to make a comeback. Being a Mercedes fan just because they’re winning and then shitting on Lewis Hamilton is lame as hell, and you know that.
Sagittarius: No, that alcohol that almost killed you that time will not be ok for you to consume this weekend. You will vomit at the smell and embarrass yourself in front of everyone.
Capricorn: We all just need a good house party. Can you organise a massive host and invite the whole university? Maybe take your hall over for a night. Idk.
Aquarius: All that driving around and listening to music is super fun, but like also you’re wasting so much gas that you frankly cannot afford.
Pisces: I have received communication from some above forces, and they have told me you should quit your shitty job.
