The government has turned into a stay-at-home boy mum Facebook group who have nothing better to do than complain about things that don’t really involve them. Every time I open my phone I get blasted with articles about shit our government is fucking with now instead of the things we actually asked for. Although I am really pissed off and seriously battling the new ban on greyhound racing, there is a comedic view to be seen that points directly at the men (a selected women) that run our country.
Imagine, you’re an old white little bald man, with your crusty friends, sitting in a cushy office built off the working-classes money, discussing what issues our great country is suffering from at this moment. Ideas are bouncing around; lack of medical resources, high fuel prices, being in a recession that no one will admit to being in, all of these seem menial and boring honestly! You want drama, something with flare, and you really want to please those wrinkly sad old ladies!
So, what do you do?
Take away the ability for a dog to run around a track a few times.
Man, saving the planet one step at a time aye!
All I’m seeing is a bunch of old bags with too much money complaining about how their husbands spend more time at the racetrack than listening to their Facebook conspiracies and spending too much money betting on the dogs than on their latest home reno fail.
Heres the thing though, those greyhounds actually do more for the country than our government…
With the revenue and tax on gambling, our economy beams, which allows the government to have more resources to do the shit they are meant to do. Also, the money made by the trainers and owners of these dogs gives them the ability to treat those dogs like fucking royalty! I’m talking 24/7 caretakers, raw meat home kill diets, and a job that works with what they were born to do.
Yeah nah, we are gonna ban it, take our losses on the money made from it and take away work from thousands of people and DOGS!
But hey, we clearly aren’t doing this for the livelihood of the dogs, because that would be stupid, duh.
If we wanted to make the industry better and fix its problems, we would enforce better laws around owners and trainers, supply food and grants for the dogs to live well, and overall, make laws around owning any dog more controlled, starting with your neighbour’s dog that has one square metre of grass and a chain stuck to its collar.
Greyhound racing has not been banned in New Zealand. Sure, there can’t be any proper races here anymore, but you can certainly still bet on the bitches overseas. They still want the money from the tax and winnings and actually don’t give a flying fuck about the dogs’ wellbeing because the gambling’s still legal.
I seriously have no clue why any of this was needed.
The mimosas at the beehives brunch must have been a bit too strong.
So, screw the ban, adopt a greyhound who no longer has a home, and let them run wild through the streets of Wellington.
‘Go boy, chase the bald one!’
