Crush of the Week
The lil lizards in the carpark đÂ
Imagine youâre walking from the main carpark at uni towards the cafes and shops and stuff. Obviously, youâre going to be in a less-than-optimal mood because you arrived later than 9am so you had to park in Timbuktu and now you have to learn/sit in a lecture for two hours. BUT WAIT. OUT OF THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE. A LIZARD. Automatically, your day improves! You now have the knowledge that little reptilian friends are also seeking higher education. Wonderful. (You might have to play a little game of Whereâs Wally to find them, but Iâm 99% sure that theyâre most likely garden skinks; theyâre fucking quick and teeny tiny, so I canât really tell.)
TOP 5
Things the Uni ABSOLUTELY NeedsÂ
- Collectible Blind Box Action Figures of our favourite UOW icons. The rarest one can be the Grebe who stands in the middle of the big pond like Jesus.Â
- A Game Show. Something like Task Master. If I win, then they knock off a few papers for me so I can graduate early. Â
- One HUGE Red Button in the middle of the Village Green. It doesnât do anything, but itâs *mysterious*.Â
- A Car Park Reserved Specifically for Me. Iâm sick of having to park a 10-minute walk away. I came here to unenthusiastically learn, why am I exercising?Â
- Swords.
QUOTES
Things Iâve Overheard at Uni (In the First Week Back)Â
- âWhatâs the dish called in Ratatouille?âÂ
- âItâs merge like a zip, not be a cunt.âÂ
- âPapa Smurf has huge DILF energy.âÂ
- (Excitedly, yet gently approaching a duck) âHi Buddy!â (Is immediately bitten by said duck)Â
- âIf my MHRA referencing had a face, I’d punch it.â
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